1000 Gifts (31)

This week the gifts are not numbered, but here they are:
It was the perfect kind of weekend. The kind filled with fun and friends and good food and lack of naps and a house full of people. After small group left we tucked two exhausted boys into bed. But their excitement over their new sleeping place was such that we could hear their chattering continue for another hour before they finally gave in to sleep.
The air was balmy for an October night so the windows were left open and we were awakened in the wee hours of morning to a crashing thunderstorm. I snuggled under the blankets, reveling in the feeling of warmth and safety as the wild storm played outside. When I woke the rain was continuing to fall. The house was quiet. The combination of exhaustion and overcast skies helped the boys sleep until 8:30 a.m.! We puttered around the house. I worked in their room moving furniture, organizing toys, vacuuming up dust bunnies while they claimed the middle bunk as their fort. I listened to them chatter as they laid out blankets and staked out their separate territories. I smiled as I heard an avid discussion as to whether the fort was their Peter Pan house or a pirate ship. I have seen a real friendship develop between Jeremiah and Nathaniel in the past week and it has warmed my soul. Jeremiah is showing new maturity. My dreams and prayers for my boys are taking shape before my eyes.
This bunk bed itself is an answer to a prayer that I had been quietly praying the past few months. "God, you know what we need. Please provide." And last Wednesday evening a friend came up to me and said, "We are moving and need to get rid of bunk beds. Would you like them?" My eyes teared up. I explained my quiet prayer. How his gesture of generosity was building my faith.
On this rainy Monday morning I feel full of gratitude. This life I have been given is a truly beautiful gift.

I join the gratitude community on Ann Voskamp's blog.

"things of this world"

I have been thinking a lot over the past few years about consumption and materialism in relationship to faith. I have struggled often in my heart when I think about purchasing something new because I want to be a good steward of what I have been given. One verse plays in my mind over and over again:

Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions - is not from the the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of the Father abides forever. - 1 John 2:15-17

If this verse is true (which I believe it is) then how should my life look? How will my actions reflect my belief?

I recently read something on another blog that was so encouraging to me because it gave some specific tools to evaluate "the things of this world." The author of the blog heard a speaker (Crawford Loritts) give 3 questions to help in evaluation:

1. The motive question: Why do I want this?
2. The worship question: Does what I want consume, control, or change me?
3. The purity question: Am I clean? Is my heart contaminated?

I was so excited to see this because I feel like now, instead of just walking around feeling guilty all the time, I can use these questions to evaluate my consumption.

Anyone else struggle with this issue?

End of soccer season

Last night was the very last soccer game of the season for the "Kicks." It was a beautiful fall evening, clear with just a slight hint of coolness in the air.

Warming up.

Jeremiah liked to take charge during warm up time. He always ended up in the goal position, loudly telling all the other boys what to do. Notice Nathaniel in there? He was convinced he was on the team since coach Neal always let him practice with them. He can hardly wait until next year when he can officially be on a team.

Running, running, running.....

Jeremiah really enjoyed playing defense this year. He understood his task and did it with great gusto. However, once he kicked the ball away he thought his job was done and proceeded back to stand exactly on his assigned spot to wait for someone to approach him again.

As much as he loved defense, he loved playing goalie better. He was pretty good at it too. Something about it just seemed to make sense to him.

The trophy.

Jeremiah still has his trophy from last year in a place of pride next to his bed. He was so excited to get another trophy this year. Nathaniel pitched an all out screaming fit (in the middle of Pizza Hut and all the way home) when he realized that he wasn't going to get a trophy. Jeremiah in a beautiful, unprompted, act of generosity gave (as in gave for good) Nathaniel his trophy from last year. When I told him how proud I was of him for being so kind and generous he said, "Well, I just really want my brother to be happy." My eyes got teary at that moment.

After the game we ended up with a van full of boys since Levi (Jeremiah's team mate) and his brother Riley (Nathaniel's buddy) wanted to ride with us. It was a loud and crazy ride. But Aaron and I were smiling silly at each other as we listened to the friendly play and chatter (and punching and yelling) that were coming from the back. It feels good to watch our sons make friends. It feels good for us to make new friends outside of church. It feels good to be riding to Pizza Hut with a van full of boys who are loud and crazy and anticipating eating cake. :-)

A few interesting notes:
* One night when I was tucking Jeremiah into bed after a game he told me that he liked games better than practice because his team always wins. Interested to hear his definition of winning I asked him how he knew his team had won. "Well, because we always have fun and try our best!" was his confident answer. I told him that was true, but that another way to win a game was to be the team who scored the most goals. He looked at me like I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about.
It is funny how at this age it is pretty clear that some kids have a competitive spirit and others don't. Some kids get on the field and really attack the ball and are intent on scoring goals. Others (like Jeremiah) have some concept of the game, but really just want to run around and cheer excitedly when a team mate scores a goal.

* Last night I noticed that when Jeremiah played offense he was running up the field, parallel to his team mates and on the opposite side of the field from the ball. So later that night I asked him what he was doing. "Well, I had a plan," came the immediate answer, "I thought that if I could go fast around the guys in the black shirts we could make a trap and keep them away from the ball. So even though I was away from the ball I could get closer to the ball in the end when the black team was trapped. But no one on my team was cooperating." Pretty good strategy for a 5 year old!

* Halfway through the season we were having some trouble with Jeremiah getting into trouble on the sidelines, pushing and kicking. So we had pretty much laid down the law, if we saw him hitting or kicking we were leaving immediately. At one point during a game I looked over and saw that Jeremiah had organized a game of "duck, duck, goose" with the kids waiting on the sidelines. It was hilarious to watch. After that he organized them all to cheer, "GOOAAALLL!!!!" loudly for a good 5 minutes.

So it was a good soccer season. We all made new friends and we all had fun. Jeremiah learned a lot more about the game of soccer. He also learned a lot about getting along with other people. We will have our Monday and Tuesday evening's back, but we will miss the opportunity we had to socialize and enjoy being outside and involved in something together. We are retiring the cleats until next year when we will have 2 boys on different teams. Oh my!

Note: I was going to wait to post this until I had time to edit the pictures. But since I know that will never happen I just put them up "as is."

1000 Gifts (30)

- changing leaves
- boys playing
- old friends
- petting goats & llama's & a hedgehog & chinchilla's
- an old tractor
- crisp autumn sky, spread blue and clear
- peanut butter & jelly sandwiches eaten at a picnic table
- being able to be flexible with our school schedule in order to do fun things with friends

10 Years!

10 things I am learning in our 10 years of marriage:

1. Marriage is harder than I thought it would be.

2. Marriage is easier than I thought it would be.

3. Marriage has been like a mirror to show me the depths of my sin and selfishness, but also the immense grace given in my salvation.

4. We communicate and show love differently, and that is ok.

5. Life may bring changes and challenges but I know that we are a team and we will face everything together.

6. Sometimes humor is the best way to move on from a disagreement.

8. Forgiveness is always a choice.

9. Love is always a choice.

10. Always assume the best.

What a 10 years it has been! I am blessed to have this man beside me as my partner in life.

the couch

We finally said good-bye to our 12 year old (at least), garage sale purchased couch! It will seem strange to say that this was a long, spiritual process for me but it was. I finally let go of the guilt I was feeling for using so much money for what seemed such an indulgent, unnecessary purchase.
Most couples will spend their 10th anniversary celebration weekend on some kind of romantic get away. We spent part of our weekend at IKEA. Happily meandering through the displays, sitting on couches, imagining our home and how we want it to be a welcoming, comfortable, inspiring, healing place. We made our decision, made the final purchase (while I tried not to hyperventilate), and strategically packed the large boxes into the van. We drove home drinking Dr. Pepper and eating junk food, listening to college football on the radio and talking about all kinds of things. We worked most of the evening assembling the couch and re-arranging the living room. Finally, we snuggled on our new couch and watched a movie.
I struggled long and hard over spending money on a new couch. But now that it is here and we are enjoying it I am so thankful! It is comfortable, has more seating room, and hopefully makes our living room inviting to other people. We truly want our home to be a place where people feel welcome and comfortable. Is it sacrilegious to hope that our purchase and use of a couch will honor and glorify God?
Now I really have no excuses for putting off picking out a paint color and finally painting......

(Note for those interested in these kinds of details: We originally wanted this couch with a sleek, bluish-grey cover but it was out of stock. So we went with white. But, it is a machine washable slip-cover and I have been reading in decorating magazines that white, washable slip covers are actually great if you have kids because you can easily wash them and keep them clean. We shall see. Worst case scenario is that we have to buy a new slip-cover from IKEA every few years. Anyway, I actually like the white. I think it balances out the darkness of the rug and keeps the room fresh and modern.)

1000 Gifts (29)

We have been very busy lately. It doesn't feel like a hectic, hurried busy. All the things we have been doing are good, serving, and even soul feeding. Yet, there have been moments in which I have felt a bit overwhelmed with the simple maintenance of our home. Last night after small group Jeremiah threw up again, after we thought that the worst of the stomach bug had passed, and I realized that we really and truly need to slow down.

When I sat down to blog today I realized that even though I have been consistent the past few weeks in waking early to spend time with God, I have not been taking the time to count the gifts. So, I started right away:

643. Jeremiah feeling extra snuggly, a bit unusual for this growing 5 year old who is getting too big for my lap

644. Nathaniel's grateful, enthusiastic, generous, forgiving heart

645. my husband who gets up at 4am to deal with throw-up so that I can sleep

646. fall sunshine through the dining room window

647. the first batch of pumpkin muffins!

648. spending the day in my comfiest sweat pants

649. friends who call to check on me

650. plump pumpkins on the front step

651. nights that are cold enough to warrant the thick winter comforter on our bed

652. the way the goldening light announces that fall is finally here

653. answered prayer

Slowing down

We had a lot of things planned for this Saturday. We were going to clean, and go to a birthday party, and try to hit the sale at the Goodwill, and have dinner with friends. Instead, both boys are snuggled in bed listening to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe on CD because they have a stomach bug.
Aaron was up with Nathaniel last night and I have spent the morning with household cleaner and paper towels in my hands, cleaning up and holding bowls and running the washing machine.
Even though nothing much this week has gone as I have planned I still feel peaceful and content. I am tired after struggling with insomnia for most of the week. While I am sorry that my boys aren't feeling well, I am thankful for a day to slow down, snuggle together, and just be quietly here.