Parenting Lessons

This is what I have learned about parenting this week:
* Always throw your camera in your bag!
Jeremiah played goalie at his soccer game on Tuesday night and he was rocking! I was so mad that I didn't have my camera to capture him posed with bended knees intently following the game, getting down to make a save, and throwing in with all his might.

* When you get impatient with your boy's behavior use this phrase instead of berating him.
"You are a boy of character and integrity. Please let your actions reflect that."
Seriously, I think this has been the most practical and revolutionary piece of parenting advice that I have ever run across. I am impatient and a yell-er. Having this little sentence has changed the way I respond to the boy's behavior. (If you are interested check out The Mother of Boys Society for other great stuff.)

* If your day is going bad pack up everything and head to the park.
I was in a funk this morning and my tone and actions toward my children were less than loving and patient. I finally got so sick of myself that I shoo-ed the boys into the van and headed to the playground. It was still pretty warm for this time of year, but I was able to sit in the shade, enjoy a cool breeze, read my Bible and pray while the boys played. My attitude changed and our day is going better.

1000 Gifts (29) - Community

I had this in depth post about community that I was crafting, but it just didn't flow right. And as I (finally) sit down after a long day I find my brain too fuzzy to really polish it up. So, suffice it to say that this Monday I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this feeling of being part of a community.... We had a week and weekend full of moments that just solidified our feeling of being right where God wants us to be; serving, working, enjoying, and developing relationships.

A few years ago when we were thinking about moving, Aaron and I really desired to feel more a part of a community. We wanted to know people well, to share our lives with others, to feel part of the place in which we lived. As we started to scope out other places to live we realized that the reason that we didn't feel like we were part of a community is because we were not intentionally fostering community. We were holed up in our house, busy with our lives, and expecting community to come find us. Duh....

So we decided to stay in our small town and be more intentional about creating community. Slowly that is what we have been doing. This weekend it hit me; we truly are part of a community now.

I feel so blessed to truly feel that we are part of a community here now. I grew up moving a lot and felt fairly root-less. I can feel our roots growing deeper here.

- a meeting of the local Library expansion committee, me being asked to serve after I was praying that I could find ways to do things that interested me and served the community

- seeing in very concrete ways how serving God with others develops real and honest relationships

- a house full of people

- 7 kids, playing in the yard until 10 p.m. running, shrieking, building, chasing fireflies, covered in dirt

- adult conversation on the deck, new relationships formed and old relationships deepened

- parenting talk on the side lines of the soccer field while the older kids play the game and the younger kids just play

- lunch at Chick-fil-A with other soccer families, laughter

- new friends

- roots developing

Field Trip

I just realized that we are currently finishing up week 5 of school! Wow.
We are still figuring out what works for us. But in general I feel like we are finding a rhythm and finding doing a bit of school work pretty much every day a normal part of our routine.
This week we went on Jeremiah's first field trip sponsored by GCA. It was at Red Top Mountain, a state park about 1 hour south of us. It was a beautiful day with hints of fall in the air. The GCA staff had planned activities but Jeremiah was most interested in the snake's and just walking the trail. He listened to the snake presentation 3 times, but refused to touch the snakes.

He got to meet his teacher, Mrs. Honaker, but wasn't interested in talking for long because he was more interested in leading us on a hike through the woods. I was hoping to get to meet more of the parents from our area, but all the activities were so spread out that I was doing good just to keep up with the boys and keep them from trying to swim in the lake.
We had a fun morning playing and hiking and returned home exhausted. I was inspired to think more about taking the boys out to the parks in our area this fall.

1000 Gifts (28)

- the fun of soccer
- the new friends we are making, parents of other players

- the boys watching the puppets from a puppet show that Aaron used to do as ministry when he was in middle and high school, a full circle moment

- Lilly's 1st birthday!
- holding baby Adeline, so tiny and new
- a new van!
- the realization that as much as I like the van it is simply a possession and means nothing in the eternal scope of things
- Jeremiah's tenderness toward Lilly
- Jeremiah reading books to Elias during the congregational meeting

The hectic pace of our lives continues. Except that last week we made it a point to be home together on Thursday evening. I made a nice dinner and lit the candles and we finished the evening with a few games of "Chutes & Ladders." That was a blessing.

I try to be a joy finder and count my gifts in a personal journal (#630). I chose to share some here.

Friday Night Thoughts

It's 11 o'clock on a Friday night and I am reveling in a rare treat of a whole evening of quiet. Aaron is off on a guy's night out so once the boys were in bed I was able to kick back on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and watch whatever I wanted on Netflix.

Of course, evenings of quiet also by nature seem to bring with them time for reflection.

We had a few difficult days this past week. Consistent discipline is so hard! I have been re-reading and excellent book called Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids. This is hands down one of the best parenting books that I have read. I am formulating a whole post on this. But, the main thing that was helpful for me was establishing a consistent discipline routine. In the past 2 weeks I have started (trying) to handle every discipline situation with the exact same 4 steps. The first week was awesome! The boys were really responding and I was able to keep my cool.

Then this week all hell seemed to break loose! I think the boys are testing whether I will be calm and consistent. And I will admit that there were a few times when I totally lost my cool. Parenting is humbling!

I continue to feel the Spirit's prompting to give more. But the more prompting I feel the more more needs I see and the more overwhelmed and impotent I feel. There are needs in our church, needs in our community, needs in the world. I have been following Ann Voskamp as she is in Guatemala with Compassion International. Her posts have me in tears as she paints the pictures of hope and the gospel in the midst of poverty and seeming hopelessness. My heart wonders, "What do I do?" I have so much, what do I give?

We had a fun school day today. We were learning about Australia this week and today Jeremiah got to make a diorama of the Great Barrier Reef. He loved it! He colored and pasted and in the end presented us with a shoe box full of imaginatively colored marine life. He really enjoys it when he can do things that are interesting and creative and educational all by himself. So I spend my time going through the daily lessons that are on the computer finding the ones that I know he will enjoy. Worksheets bore him.

Nathaniel declared today, after a week of accidents, that he wanted to wear diapers again. I gave in. It's not worth a battle is it? He'll be ready for underwear when he is ready, not a minute before. He has been waiting all week for the birthday party of his friend "Libby-Kake" (Libby Kate). Everyday he has asked, "Today we go to the party?" The boys went with me to the store the other day and picked out pretty hair clips for her because they had seen her play with mine. They were so thoughtful and generous! They were so proud of their choices. Jeremiah asks me excitedly every night, "Do you think Libby Kate will like her hair clips best?!" Nathaniel insisted that we pick out "glirl" (girl) clips and not boy clips. He is funny.

Well, I should close these ramblings. It is getting late and morning always comes early in this house.

Rug

My grandparents gifted us this beautiful Turkish rug and it arrived today. It is gorgeous and fits just perfectly in our living room. But more than that, it carries with it memories. This rug has been in my grandparents house for as long as I can remember. My memories of family Christmas gatherings, the roaring fire place, watching football, boy cousin wrestling matches, family conversations, all have this rug as the back drop.
I am so honored to have this rug in our living room, now the back drop for the memories my children are making.

Whirlwind

Last week was crazy. We ended up being busy every night of the week. We ended up deciding to sell our car and purchase a van. We tried to fit in some schooling. We worked in the yard because the weather had finally cooled and our yard was a disaster. We had soccer practice and games. I did my half of the once a month cooking. Somewhere in there I realized that I really did have to make time to clean the bathrooms before small group on Sunday. Yesterday we went to Atlanta for Labor Day.
Whew! No wonder we are exhausted.
But you know what? It is good!
We are happy and healthy and busy and blessed.

The Party Animal

Saturday night was the 15th birthday party of Irlanda, a girl in our church. Her family is originally from Mexico where a girl's 15th birthday is a special event with a church service dedicating her to God and a party launching her into womanhood. It was a blast! Irlanda is a sweet, funny girl who loves to laugh and have fun. She has been helping her parents in our church nursery since Jeremiah was a baby and so our boys love her.

But Nathaniel, my goodness! He walked into the decked out party hall and was obviously immediately in his element. He wanted to dance! And dance he did. He didn't even stop to eat but spent the whole evening dancing. Then, when he saw that young men were lining up to dance with Irlanda (a fun part of the evening), he just HAD to as well. He waited patiently in line, but every time he thought is was his turn an older boy would get in front of him. So finally he just took matters into his own hands, as you can see above.

After his successful dance with Irlanda and the disco party dancing started he dragged his other "crush" Canaan onto the dance floor with him. And by dragged, I mean persistently insisted that she come and dance with him even though she had no original intention of going out on the dance floor. Then, when she surreptitiously tried to escape (since the floor was full and she thought he wouldn't notice) he ran after her and pulled her back!

The boys were up until 10pm reveling in all the fun. But Nathaniel was definitely a party animal.