Thanksgiving Pictures

Ben & Jeremiah enjoying the sunshine on our deck Thanksgiving afternoon.
It was a beautiful day!

Hard at work carving turkey and making dressing!

These two were not hard at work. Smile.

Sitting down for our Thanksgiving meal. It was delicious!

The evening of Thanksgiving was perfect for a fire in the firepit, marshmallows, songs and conversation.

Soccer in the yard on Saturday afternoon.

Team 1: Uncle, Nathaniel & a blue flamingo

Team 2: Uncle Ben & Jeremiah

Our living room: Cozy and filled with some of the people I love the most.

Aunts reading favorite stories.

1000 Gifts - Thanksgiving

It has been a cold, gray, rainy day here. I have finally started to get out the Christmas decorations and slowly start putting them out. My computer was down for the day so I spent the day just puttering and enjoying the transition from Thanksgiving to Advent. The computer glitch means that I don't yet have pictures to post. But the gifts over this past weekend were too numerous to count. My heart was overflowing.

- the car pulling up into the drive and my brothers and sisters pouring out, arms wide in welcome
- sitting on the back deck on a sunny, warm Thanksgiving morning, savoring coffee and conversation and the knowledge that we are going to share a whole weekend together
- Jeremiah's face lighting up in the attention of his uncles
- a table overflowing with good food
- Nathaniel's charming antics
- hugs
- laughter
- serving by feeding
- setting 8 places at the table
- conversation with sisters
- coming out of the kitchen and seeing my living room full with some of the people I love the most
- breakfast all together
- the boys and men all playing soccer in the evening sunlight
- both bathrooms being used
- exhaustion

They're coming!

I am hoping that right now (9:30pm Eastern Standard Time) my brothers and their wives are in a car driving swiftly through the night to get here! It has been a busy few days of cooking and cleaning in preparation. Tonight the house is clean. Yummy food is stocked up. We have Panera bagels and fresh fruit for breakfast when they arrive in the morning.
I am ready for hugs and laughter and games and conversation.
I am ready to enjoy.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Hospitality

We finally have a real bed in our guestroom! It was a terrific find on Craigslist and I have spent the past few days puttering around in the guestroom cleaning and organizing. It really is a joy to make a room inviting and comfortable for all the loved ones we hope will come and stay.

One of the reasons we love this house is because it is so easy to have people over. The floor plan, the extra bathroom, the open space, the fenced in back yard, all these things just make it easy to invite people into our home. Even before we were married we both agreed that we wanted our home to be a place that we used to glorify God. Having people in our home means that they usually see the "real" us. There is usually a basket of unfolded laundry somewhere. The kitchen sink always has dirty dishes. Toys make their way throughout the house. The floor is dirty. Sometimes we run out of food and have to improvise at the last minute. Our kids don't always behave. Aaron and I can get snippy with each other.

But we make a real effort at opening our home because we value community. We believe that in sharing life with others we build each other up.

Recently I was re-reading The Hospitality Commands by Alexander Strauch. This quote really stood out to me:

I don't think most Christians today understand how essential hospitality is to fanning the flames of love and strengthening the Christian family. Hospitality fleshes out love in a uniquely personal and sacrificial way. Through the ministry of hospitality, we share our most prized possessions. We share our family, home, finances, food, privacy, and time. Indeed, we share our very lives. So, hospitality is always costly. Through the ministry of hospitality, we provide friendship, acceptance, fellowship, refreshment, comfort and love in one of the richest and deepest ways possible for humans to understand. Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, the reality of the local church as a close-knit family of loving brothers and sisters is only a theory. (p.17)

Sometimes I get jealous of the church in Acts. The Bible paints such a picture of community and growth and caring! "And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts," (Acts 2:46) Sometimes in our Sunday night small group we ask, "Would we meet every day to worship together? How amazing would that be? How would it change our lives? How would it change the world?"

I'm not sure how to wrap this up. It is starting to sound preachy and holier-than-thou, which is not what I intended. It is not always easy to exercise hospitality. But I think it is always worth it.

Next week my 2 brothers and their wives will be here. I am so excited that they will be here in our home and that we will be sharing life together for a few days. I pray that our home will be full of laughter, play, fellowship and prayer not to mention good food!

1000 Gifts (33)

My heart is very full today. Our church service yesterday, starting off a week of prayer for the persecuted Church, convicted me. I find myself today in the midst of doing mundane tasks with a pain in my heart. I feel unsettled. I feel stretched and uncomfortable. Because dwelling too long on my worldliness as opposed to the suffering of others for the gospel is just uncomfortable. Which of course, it should be.

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. - Hebrews 13:3

I don't know yet exactly how this will change my actions. But I know that my heart is changing. It is scary sometimes. It is scary because deep down inside this changing of my heart means that my life also needs to change. That there are things that I need to let go of and things that I need to be willing to accept if I truly want to be part of advancing the Kingdom.

So my gifts today are written with a trembling hand, because as deeply as I desire comfort I am learning that I want to love God more......
- conviction that lingers and feels of the Spirit and not simply of guilt
- church leadership that is transparent and challenging
- singing in worship, The earth will be filled with glory like water over the sea and knowing deep down that it is true
- tears
- feeling the reality of Heaven and the life to come
- friends who are walking this journey of learning to live more deeply in the Spirit with us

34 - reflections

A few weeks ago a younger lady (I want to say "girl" but am restraining myself since she was a college student) asked me during Jobs for Life, "So what are your vocational goals?" It stopped me short. I hemmed and hawed. I had absolutely no answer.

In the past 5 years it has never occurred to me to have a goal for my life other than being a wife and a mother. Because for me, being a wife and a mother in this season took all the energy I had. The past 5 years of my life have been a season of complete giving of myself. Being pregnant. Nursing babies. Losing sleep. Constant supervision. Lugging diaper bags. Spending days just trying to keep us all fed and clothed and our environment relatively clean. Oh, yeah, and trying to be a good wife too.

I'm OK with that. I don't feel like I "gave up" anything, or lost myself. On the contrary, I gained so much! And in that strange Biblical way of opposites I found so much of myself in the losing of the self that I was.

I have noticed though, that the past few weeks have brought with them a certain restlessness. As the boys gain independence and I find more time that is my own I find myself starting to think forward a bit more. I am starting to regain the sense of who I am and my own dreams apart from my children.

I don't know what God has in store. I have burdens and dreams in my heart, but I know that God is in control and will mark out the path.

Today is my 34th birthday. I woke up to Nathaniel's gentle fingers on my face. A full pot of hot coffee was waiting in the kitchen along with a note from Aaron. I have spent the morning cleaning and home schooling. I am anticipating eating dinner out tonight. I told Aaron that I want to go clothes shopping, without children (!), and maybe find some clothes to get me out of the "stay-at-home-mom" cliche. I am anticipating a gathering of friends in my home on Sunday afternoon to celebrate a new life about to enter the world. I am starting to make preparations for a house full of family for Thanksgiving.

I realize as I sit here that I am content.

I am learning that there are seasons of life and I don't have to do everything all at once. I am learning the truth of the statement:

Loving where you are is a way to love who He is. -Ann Voskamp

When it all boils down to it, all I want is to love Him more. And I think, that even though I have a long way to go, this past year has brought deeper love and more contentment. I am thankful.

1000 Gifts (32)

- brilliant fall leaves
- crisp skies
- new sleeping bags
- communal meals
- making new friends
- watching Nathaniel charm college girls into taking him into the woods to look for sticks
- Jeremiah's independence
- thoughtful conversations
- laughter, lots of it!
- daily worship, what a gift!
- transparency
- praying for a friend
- crying with a friend
- knowing that God is among us as we seek to live and love and serve in this community
- living together for a weekend, a small taste of heaven, come quickly Lord Jesus!

Heading to "camp"

Jeremiah and Nathaniel are so excited they can hardly contain themselves. This evening we leave for our church's weekend retreat, which Jeremiah and Nathaniel call "camp." The fun of the ages that we are entering in now is that the boys can remember things. Especially Jeremiah who has a mind like a steel trap. He remembers the cabin we slept in last year, and the 6 other people who were in that cabin, and all the equipment on the play ground, and how we ate all our meals with everyone in the dining hall (which he calls a restaurant), and how we hiked back and forth up the side of the hill from our cabin to the main lodge every day. He even remembers exactly what the bathrooms in the cabins look like for goodness sake.

I can't help but smile at Jeremiah's excitement. Because I still have memories of spiritual retreat in Nigeria. I vaguely recollect the cabins we stayed in. I clearly remember the gross oatmeal we had every morning. I remember the dusty paths and the trees. I remember the old green swing that hung from the branches of one of those trees. I remember the little stone wall that we would balance and play games on. I remember the joy and safety of being surrounded by people that I knew and loved.

I was looking forward to the retreat, but honestly, as exhaustion and sick linger the preparations are daunting and the idea of trying to sleep on an uncomfortable bunk bed in a room full of people exhausts me even more. Yet, as I see "camp" through the eyes of my children it takes on a whole new significance and excitement. How wonderful to have this opportunity to give my kids the same memories of excitement, fun, and community that I have.

Lessons learned from a quiet week

I usually like to be on the go. Staying at home all day with the kids sometimes felt claustrophobic to me and so I filled our days with outings, play dates, library trips, grocery shopping, and more play dates so that I didn't feel isolated and alone.
Last week I felt feverish and just completely exhausted. I canceled everything on our calendar for the week and we spent the days in our most comfortable clothes. We snuggled on the couch together (now that it is big enough to fit all of us!) and watched tv. We read lots of books. We played games. The boys spent hours together playing make believe and coloring pictures.
This week Jeremiah has had a fever and we are halfway through week 2 of staying quietly here at home. I thought by now that I would be going crazy. Yet, when I woke this morning I realized that I welcomed another day to stay at home. I am so surprised! But I have seen some definite benefits for us in this quieter, stay-at-home-more lifestyle.

The boys relationship
The boys have hit a stage in which they are really learning to play together and be friends. They literally happily entertained themselves for hours last week. I heard a lot less arguing and screaming and much more cooperation and laughter. Some of the conversations I overheard had me laughing! I am seeing new maturity in Jeremiah in his willingness to let go of his "everything has to be my way, and perfect" mentality. It is clear that being here at home has meant that they have had to learn to get along and be play mates.

Discipline/Obedience
Being at home meant that I had time to work on instruction and discipline routines that we were letting go of in our busyness. It was easier for me to be calm and consistent when I didn't feel the pressure to get us out the door and on to the next activity.

Keeping up with housework = less stress
The weekend before I got sick we had a marathon cleaning/organizing session. Even though I had pretty much no energy the week that I was sick it was easier to keep the house in some semblance of order. I am by no means a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning but having a dirty and disorganized house can stress me out. Being on the go a lot meant that cleaning and organizing just didn't happen.

School work
I admit that we were fitting in bits of school work here and there amongst our other activities. We didn't really have a routine and some days we would just breeze through the work in order to check it off and move on to "fun stuff." Yikes! That is not fostering a love of learning, which was the original reason we decided to home school. I have some serious thinking to do about the structure of our schooling days.

Rest
God created rest for a reason. Activities and outings and play dates are fun but we need rest to keep our bodies and relationships healthy.

I am realizing that I need to be more intentional about our schedule. As much as I love being on the go and having a constant stream of people in and out of the house I am seeing that we may be entering a season in life in which we just need to make it a priority to slow down for the good of our family.

Harvest Party 2010

A few months ago Jeremiah came to me and announced that he wanted to be a paper bag for the harvest party. Why? Because then no one would know who he was of course! However, a friend of his had a whole room of costumes and let the boys each borrow one. Since the boys are currently obsessed with all things Star Wars Jeremiah chose to be Darth Vader and Nathaniel chose to be a clone trooper. Jeremiah's main concern was that no one could guess who he was. One well meaning friend of ours identified him which sent Jeremiah into tears. Yet, I was so proud of him when a bigger, rougher kid broke his light saber (which was his most prized possession at that point). He was calm and self-controlled although obviously sad and disappointed.

We had another fun evening out at Linda's place. The boys have been there enough now that they know the boundaries of the 3 acre play area and run off to explore the minute we get out of the van. I got a little bit nervous when the sun set and they were still running around in the pitch dark, but Aaron reminded me that we are trying to give our kids room to range and encourage independence. So, I took a deep breath, and tried to relax while they continued to have a blast in the dark.

There were the traditions of the chili cook-off and roasting hot dogs over the bonfire. The kids listened to Linda tell a story. And of course, the hay ride. Which was actually a tad bitter sweet for me this year. Jeremiah asserted his growing independence and insisted on sitting in the front with his friends, as far away from me as possible. Nathaniel wanted to sit next to Ruth and Eli and had no interest in snuggling up with me. Aaron was riding in the front vehicle helping out. So I sat in the back, leading songs, laughing with some of the little girls who were clustered around me, watching my boys with their friends, and wondering at how fast time flies.