My heart is very full today. Our church service yesterday, starting off a week of prayer for the persecuted Church, convicted me. I find myself today in the midst of doing mundane tasks with a pain in my heart. I feel unsettled. I feel stretched and uncomfortable. Because dwelling too long on my worldliness as opposed to the suffering of others for the gospel is just uncomfortable. Which of course, it should be.
Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. - Hebrews 13:3
I don't know yet exactly how this will change my actions. But I know that my heart is changing. It is scary sometimes. It is scary because deep down inside this changing of my heart means that my life also needs to change. That there are things that I need to let go of and things that I need to be willing to accept if I truly want to be part of advancing the Kingdom.
So my gifts today are written with a trembling hand, because as deeply as I desire comfort I am learning that I want to love God more......
- conviction that lingers and feels of the Spirit and not simply of guilt
- church leadership that is transparent and challenging
- singing in worship, The earth will be filled with glory like water over the sea and knowing deep down that it is true
- tears
- feeling the reality of Heaven and the life to come
- friends who are walking this journey of learning to live more deeply in the Spirit with us
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