A few weeks ago a younger lady (I want to say "girl" but am restraining myself since she was a college student) asked me during Jobs for Life, "So what are your vocational goals?" It stopped me short. I hemmed and hawed. I had absolutely no answer.
In the past 5 years it has never occurred to me to have a goal for my life other than being a wife and a mother. Because for me, being a wife and a mother in this season took all the energy I had. The past 5 years of my life have been a season of complete giving of myself. Being pregnant. Nursing babies. Losing sleep. Constant supervision. Lugging diaper bags. Spending days just trying to keep us all fed and clothed and our environment relatively clean. Oh, yeah, and trying to be a good wife too.
I'm OK with that. I don't feel like I "gave up" anything, or lost myself. On the contrary, I gained so much! And in that strange Biblical way of opposites I found so much of myself in the losing of the self that I was.
I have noticed though, that the past few weeks have brought with them a certain restlessness. As the boys gain independence and I find more time that is my own I find myself starting to think forward a bit more. I am starting to regain the sense of who I am and my own dreams apart from my children.
I don't know what God has in store. I have burdens and dreams in my heart, but I know that God is in control and will mark out the path.
Today is my 34th birthday. I woke up to Nathaniel's gentle fingers on my face. A full pot of hot coffee was waiting in the kitchen along with a note from Aaron. I have spent the morning cleaning and home schooling. I am anticipating eating dinner out tonight. I told Aaron that I want to go clothes shopping, without children (!), and maybe find some clothes to get me out of the "stay-at-home-mom" cliche. I am anticipating a gathering of friends in my home on Sunday afternoon to celebrate a new life about to enter the world. I am starting to make preparations for a house full of family for Thanksgiving.
I realize as I sit here that I am content.
I am learning that there are seasons of life and I don't have to do everything all at once. I am learning the truth of the statement:
Loving where you are is a way to love who He is. -Ann Voskamp
When it all boils down to it, all I want is to love Him more. And I think, that even though I have a long way to go, this past year has brought deeper love and more contentment. I am thankful.
In the past 5 years it has never occurred to me to have a goal for my life other than being a wife and a mother. Because for me, being a wife and a mother in this season took all the energy I had. The past 5 years of my life have been a season of complete giving of myself. Being pregnant. Nursing babies. Losing sleep. Constant supervision. Lugging diaper bags. Spending days just trying to keep us all fed and clothed and our environment relatively clean. Oh, yeah, and trying to be a good wife too.
I'm OK with that. I don't feel like I "gave up" anything, or lost myself. On the contrary, I gained so much! And in that strange Biblical way of opposites I found so much of myself in the losing of the self that I was.
I have noticed though, that the past few weeks have brought with them a certain restlessness. As the boys gain independence and I find more time that is my own I find myself starting to think forward a bit more. I am starting to regain the sense of who I am and my own dreams apart from my children.
I don't know what God has in store. I have burdens and dreams in my heart, but I know that God is in control and will mark out the path.
Today is my 34th birthday. I woke up to Nathaniel's gentle fingers on my face. A full pot of hot coffee was waiting in the kitchen along with a note from Aaron. I have spent the morning cleaning and home schooling. I am anticipating eating dinner out tonight. I told Aaron that I want to go clothes shopping, without children (!), and maybe find some clothes to get me out of the "stay-at-home-mom" cliche. I am anticipating a gathering of friends in my home on Sunday afternoon to celebrate a new life about to enter the world. I am starting to make preparations for a house full of family for Thanksgiving.
I realize as I sit here that I am content.
I am learning that there are seasons of life and I don't have to do everything all at once. I am learning the truth of the statement:
Loving where you are is a way to love who He is. -Ann Voskamp
When it all boils down to it, all I want is to love Him more. And I think, that even though I have a long way to go, this past year has brought deeper love and more contentment. I am thankful.
1 comment:
Like this. Like you. =)
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