Dirt

The project this weekend was to fill in the pond. It has been empty for a few weeks and we were finally able to borrow a truck so that we could go buy the necessary quantities of dirt. That's right. We had to buy dirt.

Thankfully the truck just managed to squeeze through the back gate. It would have been a lot harder if Aaron would have had to bring the dirt in with a wheel barrow.

The hole is now completely full and awaiting a layer of top soil. That will be a project for another time though as we want to pack and level the dirt and rearrange the pavers to make a nice seating area. So for right now it is a make shift sand box. The boys love it!

Jeremiah preferred to be productive in the dirt. Digging holes, moving rocks etc. He hardly got dirty at all. Nathaniel on the other hand:

Go ahead and report us to child services. This kid has been eating dirt since he was a baby....

You can imagine all the places we found dirt on this kid. Covered from head to toe (and in his diaper and on his scalp and in between his toes and under his fingernails and behind his ears....).

Meeting Jesus

Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus I come, Jesus I come
Into Thy freedom, gladness and light
Jesus I come to Thee
Out of my sickness into Thy health
Out of my wanting into Thy wealth
Out of my sin and into Thyself
Jesus I come to Thee

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb
Jesus I come, Jesus I come
Into the joy and light of Thy home
Jesus I come to Thee
Out of the depths of ruin untold
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold
Ever Thy glorious face to behold
Jesus I come to Thee

Death looks different when you love Jesus. There is a peace. A desire to be home. And when you love the person dying you have that same peace and desire despite your own sorrow.

Aaron's Grannie is in the hospital. Her cancer has advanced and she is facing the end of her earthly days. We have been bringing the boys to visit her at the hospital with a special emphasis this weekend on the fact that this could be the last time they see her here on earth. Jeremiah is hesitant to approach the bed, but informs me daily that he wants to visit Grannie and to sing to her. He brings his children's Bible so that he can read her stories. Nathaniel willingly gives her hugs and kisses, and yesterday sweetly held her hand and prayed "gee-jus gannie feel better."

Grannie's prayer is that she go home to be with her Saviour. She is tired and in pain and is ready to be home. This afternoon our little family, joined by Steve & Brenda (Aaron's parents), Caleb & Monica, and Cherise stood around her bed and sang. We were led in prayer by our pastor. It was a sweet moment and we felt God's presence.

Some of Aaron's family do not trust in Jesus for their salvation. To them death is frightening and they despair when they think that this goodbye will be forever. Pray that we would have the strength to show them the light of the Gospel in the midst of sorrow.

Train Table!

The newest arrangement in the sunroom since we got a train table for the boys (gotta love Craigslist!). This is the view from the front door by the carport. I like how there is now a cozy, distinct conversation area on the right, and room for the boys table and toys (translate "mess") just out of sight on the left.

This is the opposite view from the back door. Just in case you care about stuff like that....

I think the train table will be a great asset. We have been collecting some Thomas trains since Jeremiah was 2 but have never really played with them because there was no convenient place to put them. This should also work for Lego's, craft projects, cars, etc.

Notice the sibling rivalry here. We are learning to share....

The first afternoon of play was a success! Let's hope this table facilitates hours of fun for the boys and maybe a little break for me if they can learn to play together without needing me to help. :-)

Glimpses of grace

What a great comment my friend made in my last post! We need to preach the gospel to our children every day just like we need to preach the gospel to ourselves every day! And it truly does my heart glad when I get the glimpses of grace that glimmer through in the lives of my boys.
Like last Sunday when Jeremiah walked door to door with us handing out flyers to invite kids to VBS at our church. It did not bother him a bit to knock on doors in the "questionable" neighborhood and happily quip, "Hello, my name is Jeremiah. I would like to invite you to our Bible school!" with a big smile.
Like when I hear Jeremiah start singing a worship song at the top of his lungs in the middle of Wal-mart, completely out of the blue. Sure we drew some strange looks from people, but my son was praising Jesus!
Like when Nathaniel insists on praying before meal time and his sweet little voice says, "tank gee-sus food, tank gee-sus Eli n Shanna, tank gee-sus go outside. amen!"
Like when Nathaniel gets excited, jumping up and down and clapping his hands saying "sing songs gee-jus!" when I tell him it is Sunday morning and we get to go to church.
And even when Jeremiah corrects me saying, "Mama, you should not speak in an angry tone of voice. It is not kind and loving."
God promises to be faithful to the generations of those who seek Him. I choose to claim those promises and continue to look for those glimpses of grace!

On total depravity

A conversation I overheard this morning reminded me of the need Jeremiah has for a Savior and in turn my need for one as well.

Jeremiah: How do I get my sin back?
Aaron: What do you mean?
J: You know, the sin that Jesus took. How do I get it back?
A: proceeds to give a short, 4 year old appropriate narrative of sin, how it keeps us from God and how Jesus righteousness covers it when he died on the cross ending with, do you want to be with God?
J: No, I don't think so.

The theology of total depravity (everyone is born sinful) is not a happy thing to think about. People tend to want to avoid it saying that they believe people are basically good. However, I know that I have only to look into my own heart to know that aside from Christ's work in me my sins of selfishness, anger, laziness and pride (just to name a few) would take total control over my life. Having children has shown me the sinfulness that lurks in human hearts on a totally different level.
Jeremiah's statement this morning shows with simple childlike truth what the Bible teaches us. That even our salvation is not a work of our own. If left on our own in our sin we would not even want to be with God. Yet, God, out of infinite love, reaches to us and saves us. He uses the Spirit to turn our hearts toward Him.
There is not doubt that my children need a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. It is not guaranteed that they will love Jesus just because they are growing up in a Christian home, attending church every Sunday, learning to be polite, and being taught how to be "good people." As a mother I pray every day that my boys will be brought by the Spirit to see the depth of their sin, their need for a Savior. I pray they become men who love God more than anything on this earth and serve Him with their whole hearts and lives. The conversation I heard this morning reminded me that these prayers are not just nice "Christian-eze" prayers that I do because I have to. I was reminded that there is battle raging around us that we cannot see with physical eyes and the souls of my children are at stake.

Adoption as an outworking of the gospel

God put me in the world of social work my second year out of college. I had no experience with the state foster care and adoption system but needed a job and thought working with kids would be fun. Foster care and adoption became my passion.
It has been my opinion for a long time now that Christians need to move beyond paying lip service to the pro-life position and make caring for orphans (and foster children) a practical outworking of the gospel within our churches. When I heard about this book, I knew I had to read it. It arrived today and I have been "amening" over and over again. Aaron is getting sick of me reading quotes out loud to him. This book goes in depth about how our theology of the gospel must bring an adoption mindset.

The gospel of Jesus Christ means our families and churches ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans close to home and around the world. As we become more attuned to the gospel, we'll have more of a burden for orphans. As be become more adoption friendly, we'll be better able to understand the gospel. ... In this book I want to call us all to consider how encouraging adoption - whether we adopt or whether we help others adopt - can help us peer into the ancient mystery of our faith in Christ and can help us restore the fracturing unity and the atrophied mission of our congregations.
It is one thing when the culture doesn't "get" adoption. What else could one expect when all of life is seen as the quest of "selfish genes" for survival? It is one thing when the culture doesn't "get" adoption and so speaks of buying a cat as "adopting" a pet. But when those who follow Christ think the same way, we betray that we miss something crucial about our own salvation.

I am only half way through but I know that I already recommend this book. If you already have a heart for adoption you will be encouraged. If you have considered adoption but think of it as a "second best alternative" to having biological children you may find your heart changed. If you know that adoption is not something you can do at this time in your life you may be spurred to find ways to help others who are adopting. It can only build your faith to delve deeply into your personal adoption as God's child!

Unplugging

The summer is literally flying by. I realized with a shock this morning that we only have 3 more weeks until Aaron goes back to work again (shh, don't mention it to him, he is in denial)! I have not been spending as much time as usual in front of the computer or TV for a number of different reasons.
First, our days are full of other things. With the house still needing work and unpacking still to be done there is always something to do. No two days have been the same. We take little trips, we go for walks, we invite people over for dinner, we start a project in the yard. By the end of the day I realize that I just haven't had a spare moment for electronic entertainment.
Second, we deliberately decided not to renew our satellite TV subscription so we literally cannot watch TV.
Third, having Aaron around shows me how much time I can waste in front of the computer. When I know that he is taking over caring for the kids, or in the middle of a project, or whatever I am more aware of the actual amount of time I spend on the computer so I am more conscience of what I am doing.

Now, at the risk of sounding over-spiritual and "goody-goody" let me explain to you what I have observed about this "unplugging" that has occurred over the past few weeks.
1. Being bombarded by media images does effect my mindset. I am finding it much easier to have a godly view of what it means to be a wife, mother, friend, and lover of Christ without the influence of worldly thoughts, materialism etc. on my mind. The messages that I see on TV subtly and quietly cloud my view and cause me to doubt what is clear in the Word.
2. Not being disciplined in how I schedule computer time has a direct influence on my kids behavior. It is absolutely ludicrous of me to expect my kids to be kind, loving, and thoughtful if they are having to compete with the computer for my attention. They need and deserve my attention and we have a much more pleasant day when I am disciplined about getting on the computer only when they are napping or in bed for the night.
3. My priorities should be as follows; God, husband, children. I am realizing that the time I spend in front of the TV or computer directly influences the way I view my priorities. There are a lot of great shows, blogs, games etc. out there. But unless they are helping me love Jesus, my husband, or my kids better they are simply a waste of my time.
4. Electronic entertainment sucks energy away from relationships. It's true. It's not popular to say that, but it is true. I have seen a great improvement in my relationship with my husband and children because we interact with each other more. It is amazing the conversations that we have and the fun we invent when watching TV is just not an option for "what to do tonight?" Facebook is fun for keeping up with people superficially, but a phone call or visit is 10 times better!
5. I have had so much more time for reading! I have been enjoying reading lots of novels but am also stretching my mind with books about the environment, biographies, and books to encourage my spiritual walk. And of course having more time to read the Bible is changing my daily life in so many ways.

We are not throwing out our computer or TV anytime soon. We enjoy keeping up with friends on Facebook, reading blogs, using Skype, and finding great deals on Craigslist. We enjoy watching movies and some select TV shows on DVD. But as with all things we are finding that discipline and moderation are needed and wise.

Summer Thoughts

Some of my random thoughts recently:
* We are so blessed to have this summer completely free with Aaron home! We are enjoying every moment and taking full advantage of the long summer days. We are doing projects around the house, resting, and having lots of people over for meals and fun.
* I am not missing our TV at all!
* Somewhere in our garden beds lurks poison ivy that I have not yet identified but that has left me looking like a strange monster from a B-rated horror flick. I have a nasty rash on my face, arms and fingers. Not fun.
* I have been spending less time on-line and, like the lack of TV, am finding this better for my over-all well being. (I will probably blog more on this at a later date.)
* I am reading Hot, Flat, and Crowded by Thomas Friedman and finding it very interesting.
* If you haven't read anything by Barbara Kingsolver you should!
* My husband is an amazing, incredible, patient man who deserves more love, time, and attention than I give him.
* I would happily be a vegetarian during the summer months with all the lovely fresh produce that is available. Our Monday evening visits to the farmers market is always anticipated. The vendors like to see the boys coming and last week Jeremiah and Nathaniel scored free Yoo-Hoo. I think Jeremiah thought it was the nectar of the Gods.
* Craigslist rocks! I will never again pay retail for appliances. We picked up an almost brand new portable dishwasher the other day for $100! (retails for over $600!). We are now on the hunt for an extra freezer.
* Icecream eaten out of a cone does have a special taste that smacks of childhood and summer.
* My baby is about to turn 2 and I am envisioning this home with a few more little people in it. My thoughts are turning to fostering and adopting and I am in great prayer and anticipation for what God may have in store.
* I forgot about the tender feelings of 4 year olds in the process of giving away the fish in the pond. My mother's heart cracked a bit when Jeremiah cried heart wrenching sobs and accused us of hurting his feelings when the fish went to their new home. We are in the process of seeing if a turtle or fish aquarium will make a good addition to our home and fulfill Jeremiah's desire for a pet of his own.

Traveling with littles

I come from a family of travelers. I have more memories than I can count of airports, airplanes, and long car trips. I remember the games we used to play and the endless amount of snacks and entertainment that my mom seemed to magically pull out of her bag.
I actually love car trips. Especially before children when Aaron and I would be in a car for hours watching the scenery go by, listening to music, and passing the time with conversations of things big and small. Of course, now I am the mother who must have a magic bag of tricks to keep the kids happy.
I will admit that there was part of me that was dreading the long drive to and from Pennsylvania. I just had no idea how the boys would do being awake for most of the drive. They must have inherited some of the travel DNA though because they did great and we actually enjoyed most of the trip!
Of course, there are a few things that help: stopping every 2 hours for a 1/2 hour of play, plan meal stops to correspond with Chik-fil-A (clean, good food, and always an indoor playground), lots of books, a small box of never before seen toys, and above all an attitude of patience and flexibility!

Summer Days

Summer time is.....

Clothes hanging on the line:


Cupcakes for a baby shower:

Playing games at a family picnic:


Snuggling your brother at the end of a day full of hot, sweaty play:

And of course - watermelon and sprinklers on a Sunday afternoon:

A good break and other randomness

The boys are getting better at playing together for short periods of time. Yesterday they were both excused from dinner because they were not eating. A few minutes later Aaron and I heard them from their room - Jeremiah was sweetly explaining too and pointing out to Nathaniel the animals on their wall. "Look Nathaniel, this is a giraffe. He has a long neck. Look Nathaniel, this is a elephant. He has a trunk." So cute. Of course, this quiet moment of instruction quickly turned into a wrestling match (see below).
It is also nice to have an older brother who can read to his younger brother (see above). I try to have them sit for a few quiet moments in the morning (after enthusiastic play time) and let Jeremiah read. They are getting better about doing this for longer than just a few pages. Jeremiah is quite the expressive reader, he does inflection, expression, different voices and everything!

I will admit that the past few days have been a bit stressful. I have been irritable (gasp!) and impatient (surely you jest!). Aaron and I have been working hard trying to get the house in order and the kids were feeling our lack of invested attention and acting accordingly. So this morning when we had to go to Chattanooga anyway (to pick up a light fixture we were buying off of Craigslist) I decided to put aside our to-do list and make a fun outing of it. We played in the water fountains and wading river outside of the aquarium and had yummy pizza at Mr. T's. And of course we had to top it all off with ice cream. It was a nice break and helped me realize where my priorities need to be this summer. Sure, I want my house to look a certain way and there are things that need to get done, but not at the cost of my relationship with my husband and children.

Fun with others

One of the most fulfilling things for me as a parent is to watch the interaction between my children and the people who I love the most. Here are pictures from our vacation that capture some of those moments.

This picture of Nathaniel and my grandfather will be cherished.

Playing "This little piggy."

Nathaniel loved Uncle Daryl!

Ben & Jeremiah chill out and watch a movie after a busy day of picnic-ing and hiking (see below).

I know this picture is a bit fuzzy, but I love the look on Jeremiah's face.
He had such a great 2 weeks with his oma!

A classic grandfather in hot-tub with grand kids shot! :-)

Fresh!

This is what $8.00 got me last night at our local farmers market. Sugar snap peas that are sweeter than candy, crispy green beans with a cool flavor, sweet yellow squash, scrumptious zucchini, and a bag full of 8 varieties of dark leafy greens. All of our veggies for a week plus some good conversation and a nice walk on a summer evening. Can't get that at Wal-mart.
Perfect.

Home Again...

A fun and fast 2 weeks are behind us and we find ourselves back home trying to adjust to a normal routine. The boys proved once again to be excellent travelers and surpassed my expectations in every way. Our days were spent taking walks, playing in the hot tub, taking naps, eating simple and delicious meals, and enjoying visits from various family members. A perfect vacation with just the right mix of rest and activity. And just to keep things from getting boring we were even visited by a black bear cub who hung out on our front and back decks for a little while!
As I have time to download my pictures I will share more memories. However for now I think that these two (stolen from my dad) sum it up.

The adjustment back to "real life" is being made more challenging by a number of factors. First, coming back to a house that was left in the midst of unpacking is proving to be a tad stressful for me. I woke up Saturday morning fully prepared to deal with unpacking vacation things only to be met by the unorganized mess of our still unpacked regular things. I am trying to remember that making this house a home is a work in progress but I am now more than ready to hit the nearest stores for paint, lighting fixtures, bedding, window treatments and furniture.
Second, while having Aaron home all day during summer vacation is certainly a treat it is also an adjustment. We are going to have to learn how to structure our days, divvy up parenting duties, and communicate lovingly regarding our expectations.

This summer is going to pass quickly and we have many fun things to look forward to. But for right now I want to get my linen closets organized while the boys are still napping.....

This & That before we go

No, we are NOT potty training yet.
Jeremiah and Nathaniel found the training potty in a pile of stuff. Jeremiah decided it needed to be in the bathroom so that he could teach Nathaniel. I was standing in the hall laughing so hard as I listened to him boss Nathaniel around. This was the finished product. :-)
Nathaniel has been talking about "pee pee in the potty" because he watches Jeremiah do it. However, on the few occasions that I have actually gone through the process of removing the diaper and sitting him on the potty he looks at me like, "ok, now what?" I figure if the kid can't take off his own pants yet there is no way we are starting potty training.
Nathaniel seems to have a fertile imagination. He loves his play doctor kit (even before "the incident") and spends most of the day walking around with the stethoscope around his neck. He has also developed a love for hats that is directly inherited from his father. Aaron has a collection of hats of all sorts and when Nathaniel found it he promptly claimed this same hat that was Aaron's favorite as a teenager. :-)

Jeremiah has been working on some paintings to give as gifts for some people we are going to see soon! He literally spent about 4 hours on Monday morning painting.
I am in the midst of packing and organizing for our vacation. We leave tomorrow morning to meet my parents in Roanoke, Virginia (half way point) and then on Friday we take the rest of the trip to the house we are renting in the Pocono's. Aaron will join us in a week. I have not had the experience yet of driving that long with the boys by myself. So we shall see how tomorrow goes. Some friends are letting us borrow their Volvo station wagon (my dream car! hee hee) since the a/c in our car is broken. This is such a blessing since taking the Saturn would have meant some serious downsizing in the luggage department.
I am ready to be on the way! I have been jealously watching from afar as the family celebrated Will & Mariana's graduation from law school, had a special birthday surprise for Ramona, and had a house warming shower for Ben & Ramona. I am ready to be with them!
We do not have a laptop so I will be computer-less until we get back. I am actually looking forward to disconnecting for a while. But be sure I will have lots of pictures to share when we return!