Joining The Gypsy Mama (who is actually at In-Courage today) for 5 Minute Friday. Five minutes to just write. Today's topic: Still
GO
I am in my car, sitting in disappointment while tears fall. I have an anxiety so deep that my stomach literally feels sick and I am emotionally off-kilter. I am wondering over the difference between my expectations and reality. Were my expectations that unrealistic?
I want to be still. Take time to process.
But the chaos of a normal life continues. I come home and am tackled by 2 little boys. Their needs immediate. Dinner must be made. Clothes must be folded. Boys still need showers and books at bedtime.
Finally when the house is still I crawl into bed. I lie still while tears leak. I ask my husband to hold me. Because I know he will. He is still and calm and the very presence of him brings peace. He doesn't try to fix, he just waits and loves, still.
STOP
GO
I am in my car, sitting in disappointment while tears fall. I have an anxiety so deep that my stomach literally feels sick and I am emotionally off-kilter. I am wondering over the difference between my expectations and reality. Were my expectations that unrealistic?
I want to be still. Take time to process.
But the chaos of a normal life continues. I come home and am tackled by 2 little boys. Their needs immediate. Dinner must be made. Clothes must be folded. Boys still need showers and books at bedtime.
Finally when the house is still I crawl into bed. I lie still while tears leak. I ask my husband to hold me. Because I know he will. He is still and calm and the very presence of him brings peace. He doesn't try to fix, he just waits and loves, still.
STOP
2 comments:
Thank God for small moments of being held in love and stillness. (They are not really small at all.)
Processing much of anything is so difficult as a mother of young children. Never enough time to take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself, know that it is alright to feel the anxiety, the disappointments. That is part of life. Trust that goodness that is in the stillness of the true moments; being held by your husband, one of the dearest things one of your boys says to you, laughing together as only a family can.
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