1000 Gifts - It takes discipline

Admission: This weekend I found it very hard to practice the numbering of gifts even in the midst of disappointment and emotional turmoil. I forgot at times to fight feeling with feeling and push back the anxiety with thanks. And I learned again why practicing thankfulness on a daily basis is not just a "nice" thing to do. It is the building of a discipline. To practice thankfulness on good days is what makes it second nature to practice thankfulness on bad days. The daily practice of stopping in a moment and counting it a gift builds the "knee jerk" reaction of counting gifts even when I feel tired, drained, and unhappy.
So tonight I took a deep breath and decided again to see and feel and number these moments here. To fight back against anxiety and unmet expectations and whirling churning thoughts. With these:
- Jeremiah praying for patience, evidence of the Spirit working
- Nathaniel's hugs
- Aaron's comforting arms
- friends who help and pray and ask good questions
- friends (and family) who call to check up
- people who really listen
- my mom
- prayer
- how Aaron still reaches to hold my hand in the car, even after all these years
- a chocolate milkshake
- a game of animal safari
- morning and evening prayers, a new ritual that grounds us
- planning Nathaniel's birthday party
- Nathaniel's joy and enthusiasm at being celebrated, his desire to just invite everyone he can think of
- two boys, clean from the shower, snuggled next to me while I read aloud