The week unfolds differently than I had planned. Bathrooms stay dirty, laundry stays piled, and healthy snacks for the road remain uncooked as we give in to rest. A weekend of fevers and deep coughs for Jeremiah, 10 days of low-grade sick and lack of energy for me, a snotty nose for Nathaniel have us going to the doctor this afternoon. We are hoping for antibiotics to get us feeling like ourselves again.
And the lesson I am learning is to let go. To let go of my expectations and just be patiently present for what is. The fun and joy of our visit to Philly for Thanksgiving depends not on what I can check off of my to-do list but on the attitude of my heart. Sure, it is not ideal to come back from vacation to dirty bathrooms and piles of laundry, but the attitude of my heart not the condition of my house will determine my joy. I can grouch and worry and whine through this week as I think of all the things I would ideally like to do. Or I can purpose to create a peaceful, restful environment (despite the dirty dishes and the dusty shelves) for us all to heal.
So we stay in our pj's and drink lots of juice and snuggle on the couch and watch lots of movies and read lots of books and take long afternoon naps. And I feel so much grace as brothers call me with offers of help (not even knowing how sick we are) and emails encourage me to rest and remind me to just show up so we can be loved on. I watch the falling leaves pile high on the back deck littered with toys that really should be put away. But I breathe deep and turn away. Letting it go.
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