I know. You are probably sick of hearing my blow-by-blow account of trying to figure out what the heck I am doing in this whole area of discipline. But something really cool happened last week (Friday I think? Forgive me if I don't remember the exact day, I also lost a whole bunch of banana's last week....)
Anyway. You know by now that anger is the main issue we are dealing with Jeremiah right now. It has been incredibly frustrating to me because it is not really something concrete that I can nail down and say exactly to Jeremiah, "Do not be angry." So we work on expressions of anger that are appropriate and those that are not.
I was re-reading a pretty good parenting book called Don't Make Me Count To Three! A mom's look at heart-oriented discipline by Ginger Plowman. The main thing I like about this book is how she talks about using scripture in the discipline of children. Meaning that instead of just randomly saying, "Be nice!" you look at the exact behavior and say something like, "Are you being loving toward your brother?"
However, as often happens when I read a book like this I despair over everything I am not doing well enough. Knowing how bad my memory is I wondered how I could ever use scripture as was illustrated in the book. Most days I feel like I can barely remember my own name, much less scripture verses. I felt my legalistic tendencies kicking in.
And then God showed His grace.
I have been reading a Psalm to the boys every morning during breakfast. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don't, but I feel it is a good habit to get into. Friday morning started out "challenging" and went downhill from there. I was busy trying to pack our stuff for the weekend, clean the house, clean out the car etc. etc. And of course, the boys were trying to get my attention in every conceivable way possible. I had skipped our morning Psalm. Right before nap time I completely lost it when Jeremiah hit his brother for the 123rd time that morning. I chased the boys to their room, yelled at them to stay quiet and out of my way for just one gosh-darn minute, and slammed their door shut behind me. My heart hardened to the sound of crying as each boy sat on his bed in tears. I sat on my bed, tears streaming down my own cheeks. I was sure I just couldn't do this a minute longer.
I reached for my Bible and opened to the Psalm that we were supposed to read that day. And there it was,
In your anger do not sin. Psalm 4:4
A verse for me, and a verse for Jeremiah.
I cried some more.
I was able to go back into the boys room and spend time with Jeremiah talking about anger and sin. We memorized the verse together and I asked his forgiveness for sinning against him in my anger. Of course I am deeply saddened that I sinned against my children. But I am thankful that God took the situation and used it to show His grace. He is always enough and I learned that He will give me the wisdom I need.
(On a practical note: I have started copying Bible verses that pertain to behaviors we want to encourage, or discourage, in our children on 3x5 cards and keeping them in a special box. That way, in the "heat" of a disciplining situation I can quickly thumb through the cards to find a scripture that I can't quite remember.)
Anyway. You know by now that anger is the main issue we are dealing with Jeremiah right now. It has been incredibly frustrating to me because it is not really something concrete that I can nail down and say exactly to Jeremiah, "Do not be angry." So we work on expressions of anger that are appropriate and those that are not.
I was re-reading a pretty good parenting book called Don't Make Me Count To Three! A mom's look at heart-oriented discipline by Ginger Plowman. The main thing I like about this book is how she talks about using scripture in the discipline of children. Meaning that instead of just randomly saying, "Be nice!" you look at the exact behavior and say something like, "Are you being loving toward your brother?"
However, as often happens when I read a book like this I despair over everything I am not doing well enough. Knowing how bad my memory is I wondered how I could ever use scripture as was illustrated in the book. Most days I feel like I can barely remember my own name, much less scripture verses. I felt my legalistic tendencies kicking in.
And then God showed His grace.
I have been reading a Psalm to the boys every morning during breakfast. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don't, but I feel it is a good habit to get into. Friday morning started out "challenging" and went downhill from there. I was busy trying to pack our stuff for the weekend, clean the house, clean out the car etc. etc. And of course, the boys were trying to get my attention in every conceivable way possible. I had skipped our morning Psalm. Right before nap time I completely lost it when Jeremiah hit his brother for the 123rd time that morning. I chased the boys to their room, yelled at them to stay quiet and out of my way for just one gosh-darn minute, and slammed their door shut behind me. My heart hardened to the sound of crying as each boy sat on his bed in tears. I sat on my bed, tears streaming down my own cheeks. I was sure I just couldn't do this a minute longer.
I reached for my Bible and opened to the Psalm that we were supposed to read that day. And there it was,
In your anger do not sin. Psalm 4:4
A verse for me, and a verse for Jeremiah.
I cried some more.
I was able to go back into the boys room and spend time with Jeremiah talking about anger and sin. We memorized the verse together and I asked his forgiveness for sinning against him in my anger. Of course I am deeply saddened that I sinned against my children. But I am thankful that God took the situation and used it to show His grace. He is always enough and I learned that He will give me the wisdom I need.
(On a practical note: I have started copying Bible verses that pertain to behaviors we want to encourage, or discourage, in our children on 3x5 cards and keeping them in a special box. That way, in the "heat" of a disciplining situation I can quickly thumb through the cards to find a scripture that I can't quite remember.)
1 comment:
the 3 x 5 cards are so handy. I write verses on cards that I can send to encourage someone. mom
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