Random Reflections

Love those faces!

Nathaniel is fearless and loves being pushed around the house on the popper.

Brother hugs.

Look at that smile! (And check out the top teeth!)

In no particular order:
* "Sleep is a privilege."
This was said to me by a good friend at church who has raised 5 children. I was talking (read: complaining) about how working late 3 nights a week and Nathaniel's crazy sleep habits have me getting about 4 hours of sleep per night on average. She was sharing how this attitude helped her not be angry or bitter about her lack of sleep when her kids were young. I am still working on it....

* Nathaniel is almost definitely allergic to dogs.
A few months ago we gave Penny Lane away for a whole number of reasons, one of the main ones being that Nathaniel had pretty much been constantly congested since birth and the only thing we could figure was that he was allergic to the dog. I didn't really think about it again. This week we are keeping Chad & Cherise's puppy Wicket and Nathaniel has been a snotty mess since the dog came to stay. That has of course made sleep even more difficult. And I realized that he has not been congested since Penny Lane left....

* I love weddings!
I was asked to do the coordinating of the wedding of a young couple in our church. It was the first wedding I did where I wasn't really good friends (or related) to the couple so I was interested to see if I would enjoy it as much as I usually do. The wedding was last Saturday and it was fun to do. I enjoyed organizing the rehearsal (got them all in and out of there in less than an hour!) and making sure that things ran smoothly for everyone on the wedding day. This couple's first kiss ever (at least together) was in the wedding. It was beautiful and moving and a testament to the fact that it is possible to maintain integrity and purity even in this sex-crazed culture.

* Jeremiah likes to throw blankets on top of Nathaniel and then watch Nathaniel try to figure out how to crawl out from under them. Nathaniel doesn't think this is very funny.

* I was a selfish, impatient, lazy mother yesterday. I am asking God for strength to do better today.

Answer to prayer

I just had to share this answer to prayer that is another encouragement of how much God cares for us.
On Aaron's graduation day his grandparents handed him a card. Assuming that it probably contained some cash (since that is what grandparents do! hee hee) we made sure to put it in the bottom of the stroller and I kept an eye on it all day to make sure it didn't get misplaced in all the crazyness. As we were loading up the car after the ceremony I specifically took the card out of the bottom of the stroller thinking "We don't want to lose this."
When we got home and looked through our things the card was gone. We searched everywhere and it was no where to be found. Aaron even called the restaurant where we had eaten to see if it was there. No luck.
We found out from Aaron's grandparents that there was in fact cash in there.
Aaron sent a college-wide email asking if anyone found it to sent it to us. I had little hope that would actually happen.
I was really upset with myself. I couldn't figure out where it had gotten lost, especially when I thought I was being so careful and responsible. I was mad at myself for losing what was meant to be a gift for Aaron. I was upset thinking of all the ways we could have used that money but now it was gone.
After 2 days of stewing over it I prayed and let it go. I realized that I was taking on too much guilt for the lost card and that since there was nothing more to be done I should just stop worrying and trust God to bring peace to my heart - even if we never got the cash back. I prayed for peace, I prayed that I would let go of my guilt, I prayed that God would somehow return the money to us, that whoever found the card would feel led to return it. That was a few days ago and I haven't thought about it since.
The card arrived today in the mail! It hadn't even been opened. There was no return address or any way for us to see who found it and sent it. Under Aaron's name (which was written in his grandmothers handwriting) was our address neatly written in what looks like female handwriting.

Aside from the monetary gift I am so thankful for God's clear way of showing His love and care for us. What an incredible, tangible way for God to reach down and say, "I love you!"

Encouragement

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else will ever make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality - especially while you struggle to keep your own." - Marguerite Kelly & Elia Parsons

I have been struggling this week with this whole motherhood business. Constant discipline issues with Jeremiah, sleep issues with Nathaniel, as well as the continual picking up, cleaning up, wiping up-but-the-house-still-looks-just-as-dirty-at-the-end-of-the-day stuff just has me down and discouraged. The other day I read a story on a friends blog that reminded me that I get down and discouraged because I focus on myself not on glorifying God in the moments of my day. I have no idea who wrote the story or where it came from, but I thought it was worth copying and sharing.
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Invisible Mothers...

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Music suggestions anyone?

Now that I find myself home all day every day with the kids (gotta love those gas prices...) I find myself wanting to listen to more music. We now have Pandora Radio set up on our computer which makes it fun and easy to listen to all kinds of music and artists. I love to listen to music but I have this kind of mental block any time I walk into a CD store or look at a website like this. I have no idea what to listen to. I don't know where to start. It's almost like too many options just paralyze me.

So here is your chance to tell me who you think I should listen to.

I am desperate here.

Baptism

The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off - for all whom the Lord our God will call. - Acts 2:39

I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you. - Genesis 17:7

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved - you and your household. - Acts 16:31

Nathaniel was his usual charming self and laughed and giggled at Travis.

Travis has the tradition of walking through the congregation with the child before asking the congregation to take their vow of assisting in the spiritual nurture of that child. It is always a meaningful moment for the parents and for the congregation. Nathaniel loved being able to see and smile at everyone.

1. Do you acknowledge your child's need of the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ and the renewing grace of the Holy Spirit?

2. Do you claim God's covenant promises in his behalf, and do you look in faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for his salvation, as you do for your own?

3. Do you now unreservedly dedicate your child to God, and promise, in humble reliance upon divine grace, that you will endeavor to set before him a godly example, that you will pray with and for him, that you will teach him the doctrines of our holy religion, and that you will strive, by all the means of God's appointment, to bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

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Every time I hear the questions asked at baptism I am reminded of the depth of God's love for my children. I am reminded that I cannot make my children believe the gospel but I can pray and teach and love. I am reminded that God's promises are real and true. I am reminded that the hardest part of being a parent are those things that we cannot control. I have seen the blessings of faith throughout the generations of mine and Aaron's family and I trust God to continue those blessings, for His glory, in the lives of my children. I am thankful that the salvation of my children is not dependent on what I do or don't do as a mother but rather rests in the perfect love of God for them and His sovereignty in their lives.

Happy Mother's Day

Being a mother has brought me more joy than I had ever imagined. Even on the most difficult or frustrating days there is always a moment of laughter and joy that reminds me of the privilege I have of raising these two precious little ones. Being a mother sends me to the foot of the cross every day, reminding me of my need for my Saviour. I am an imperfect, selfish mother. But I know that God is bigger than I am. I know that he loves me even more than I love my children. I know that he has washed away my sin and that before him I stand righteous. I know that in him I have everything I need.

Jeremiah was so thrilled that Caleb & Moni spent the night here on Saturday. We did our best to keep him quiet so that they could sleep, but by 8:30 he wanted to go and see them. They got some special Jeremiah cuddle time.

Jeremiah and Nathaniel had to "help" grandmommy open her presents.

Nathaniel decided he wanted to climb the stairs to go be with his brother. This kid is fearless!

Nathaniel was also baptized yesterday, but that will be a different post.

Graduation

He did it! On this bright, warm afternoon Aaron walked across the stage at Berry College and received his Masters of Education degree. He was the second to last person to walk and we cheered loudly. Congratulations honey!

The scene of the graduation. It was a beautiful afternoon and I like the relaxed, family friendly atmosphere of having the ceremony outside. It allowed us to let the kids play and crawl around during the long ceremony.

Papa and his boys before the ceremony.

Both Jeremiah and Nathaniel were born while Aaron was in grad school.

Jeremiah tries papa's hat on for size. I had a mother's pang when I saw this picture and realized that one day my little boy could be graduating from college....

Processing in.

Having received his diploma he gets his cool cowl.

The boys did pretty well during the ceremony. They were both really tired (it was nap time) but there was enough to distract them.

All of us.

You did it!

The graduate.

Change of plans

Ever have one of those days where you had everything planned out to do and then it all changes? That is what happened to me today, but it was not a negative or stressful thing. The change in my plans today actually helped me relax and spend some fun time with my boys.

This morning as I was at the grocery store trying to get all the shopping done for this weekend my phone rang and Aaron told me that his cap and gown needed to be picked up from his advisers office before 4:30 this afternoon. I decided that this would be something I could do and told him not to worry about it. I quickly finished the shopping, loaded the boys up in the car, and headed out on our little road trip. Berry College is about a 45 minute drive from our house (imagine in Europe driving 45 minutes each way just to pick up something!) along a nice strip of country road. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and wild flowers were growing in perfusion along the center median. Nathaniel fell asleep and Jeremiah was quietly playing his Leapster so I was free to listen to music and just enjoy the drive. The Berry College campus is beautiful (you really should check out the link, it is a pretty amazing place) and we took some time to walk around a bit. Jeremiah enjoyed watching the workmen setting up for tomorrows graduation and we even saw a fawn meander across our path! As we left I realized it was almost lunch time so on a whim I pulled into McDonalds. Jeremiah was thrilled with his chicken nuggets and the toy car that came in his happy meal. He played enthusiastically on the playground with another 3 year old boy while I sat with Nathaniel enjoying a coke and burger. Nathaniel contentedly munched on french fries (that boy loves those things!) and wiggled with excitement every time he saw his brother emerge from the tunnel of the slide.

When we arrived home I realized that what could have been a stressful chore actually turned into a pleasant outing. I enjoyed taking the boys somewhere new and just enjoying time away from the house. I love driving (I get that from dad) and the drive and scenery soothed me. There is still alot to be done in preparation for this weekend, but I am sure that everything will happen in time. I am sure too that Caleb & Monica won't mind if my house isn't Better Homes & Gardens ready when they spend the night. :-)

We are looking forward to graduation tomorrow. I told Jeremiah all about what was going to happen and taught him to say "Yay papa! I am so proud of you!" when Aaron walks across that stage tomorrow.

Busy Days

Time just seems to be flying by.

Every night I fall into bed wondering where my day went. Some days I feel a sense of accomplishment. Some days I wonder how I can feel so exhausted but not feel like anything got done.

I have felt a certain shift in the emotional environment of our household. Even though we are still busy with everyday life there is a certain edge of exhaustion and panic that is gone. It feels like the events of Aaron's upcoming graduation, a short break from evening classes, and my stopping work with MCC have all conspired to help us mellow out a little bit and find some semblance of "normal" in our routine. I personally feel more relaxed and able to focus of caring for my husband, the children, and the house.

Since we are an active family of 4 there is still all kinds of stuff going on and this week has been no exception. I have been working on rearranging some furniture and cleaning out the spare room (again). I have also been trying to clean out the attic little by little. Cherise came over one day to help make Mother's Day cards and love on the boys. Caleb & Moni will be spending Saturday night here after graduation so I am trying to make sure that the house is at least basically clean and a place is ready for them. I have some grocery lists to make and cooking to do for Mother's Day. All of this in the few spare moments between laundry, making snacks, changing diapers, nursing the baby, disciplining Jeremiah - you get the picture.

Today I feel fulfilled and at peace in the life I find myself in. It is a cool spring morning with the feel of rain in the air. There is a lot to be done and I am tired from working last night, but I am taking a moment to enjoy a cup of coffee and enjoy this moment of peace and contentment. I feel blessed to be married to a man who loves me more than I deserve, privileged to be a mother to 2 boys who fill me with joy every day, and grateful for the grace I feel from my Saviour even (especially) in moments when I despair at my sin

Latest Hijinks

Nathaniel seems to have hit some kind of developmental growth spurt. All of the sudden he seems to accomplish something new and interesting every day. I wanted to post pictures with this but life has been so busy that I haven't even taken any pictures in the past few days. So you will just have to use your imagination.

* Four top teeth have finally broken through! The problem with getting teeth (aside from the wakeful nights) is that they change the look of my baby's face. All of the sudden I see a little boy smiling at me and only glimpses of the baby remain.

* Crawling, crawling, crawling! This one just won't stop. He figured it out one day and has been enthusiastically exploring the house and chasing Jeremiah ever since. The problem with crawling is that it presents me with undeniable evidence of the dirtiness of my floor. I was doing the laundry the other day and wondering where the big dirty stains on the knees of Nathaniel's pants came from.....

* Imagine this, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and I have just fallen into a deep sleep after getting home from work after midnight. Nathaniel starts to cry and I am just too wiped out to go to him so I ask Aaron to get up. Nathaniel keeps crying even as Aaron is soothing and rocking him. In his most pitiful of whines we hear, "maaah-maaah-maaah-maaah!" It must be a fluke, he can't be talking already. But the next night he repeats his performance. The only time he will say my name is at 3 a.m. when he wants me.

* Nathaniel loves being outside. When we were platning vegetable plants in the front yard he was right there with us crawling through the grass and dirt and "helping" us dig holes. He evn ate grass!

* Jeremiah is learning lessons is sharing and learning to put the things that he does not want chewed on or destroyed out of Nathaniel's reach. But it is fun to watch the relationship between these brothers develop. The other day I was in a frantic hurry trying to get myself and the boys out the door by a certain time. I plopped the boys in their room and told them that they needed to play for a little bit so that I could get ready. As I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth I hear hysterical laughter coming from the bedroom. I poked my head around the door and witnessed Jeremiah and Nathaniel playing cowboy, a game which consists of Jeremiah putting his red cowboy hat on Nathaniel's head. Nathaniel laughs hysterically because the hat is too big and falls over his eyes. He then takes the hat off in a version of pee-a-boo. Both boys dissolve into fits of laughter. Repeat.

Life is busy but good. We are thankful for all of Gods blessings to us.

YEAH!

Aaron just called me. He did it!
He will graduate with a Master's of Education on Saturday, May 10th!!!!!
God is good!
I am so proud of my man!

A Friendly Reminder

If you can, please pray for Aaron today at 4:00 pm.

That is when his oral exam is.

Pray that God will give him clarity of thought and the ability to clearly communicate the knowledge that is in his head.

Comparing Brothers

Left:
Jeremiah pulling to standing when he was about 9 months old.

Right:

Nathaniel pulling to standing at about 8 1/2 months old.

It is obvious that my boys are brothers. They have the exact same color of bright blue eyes and similar blond hair and light skin. However, as Nathaniel continues to grow (like a weed) I see more differences, especially when I go back through Jeremiah's baby pictures and compare the two. Looking at these two pictures there is the obvious difference in size. Jeremiah was a compact, chunky little fellow. Nathaniel is long and lean.

I notice personality differences. Jeremiah was a more serious baby with intent and curious facial expressions. His smiles were more close mouthed and reluctant. He was not afraid of strangers but others had to work a little to coax Jeremiah's smiles and conversation. Nathaniel is joyful and effusive. He smiles often with bright sunny smiles that light up his whole face. He appears to never meet a stranger and everywhere we go he smiles and chatters to everyone we see.

Jeremiah was a scheduled baby. There was hell to pay if he did not eat or sleep at the precise moment that he was used to. He rarely slept anywhere other than his crib. Nathaniel sleeps whenever the mood strikes and can be content for hours without eating.

Then there is the way that they play. Jeremiah is a meticulous and precise little man. Even as a baby he rarely just grabbed at toys. He would study toys before touching them, turn them around and around trying to figure them out before playing with them. He would play with one toy for long periods of time before moving on to another one. He loved to look at books and even as a young baby would sit quietly turning pages. Even now he has precise ways of playing with each toy. Nathaniel appears more impulsive. He grabs whatever is in sight, playing for a minute or two before moving on to the next thing leaving a wake of toys, shoes, boxes, and other paraphernalia in his wake. He likes books too, but mostly as something to chew on.

My sociologists brain finds contemplating these differences fascinating. How much of it is personality or a result of differences in parenting? Is Nathaniel truly a more laid back child by nature or have we made him that way because we are more relaxed parents the second time around?

It is fun to see my boys grow. I love watching their different personalities develop. It is fun to think about their future, the men they will become, the things that they will each be interested in and talents they will pursue. It is amazing to think that God has given me these children to nurture. What a gift!

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,the fruit of the womb a reward.

So many memories....

It's funny how at the most random moments in the midst of every day life something will happen to bring back floods of memories of my youth. This morning as I was climbing wearily out of bed and starting my morning routine of coaxing Jeremiah out of his pj's and wrestling with Nathaniel as he fought my attempts to wipe his runny nose the phone rang. A friend from church told me that the host of NBC's Today Show was broadcasting from Amsterdam. Thanks to the modern convenience of the DVR I was able to pause the programming and after settling Jeremiah with some breakfast and Nathaniel with some toys I sat on the couch with a cup of coffee and was transported back to the memories of my teenage years as Matt Lauer roamed the streets of the city that I knew so well.

The image of the new green on the trees along the canals and the clear light of a warming spring afternoon reminded me of crisp spring days spent with friends skipping school and exploring the city. I still believe that there is a special quality to the air in Amsterdam on a spring afternoon. A sort of magic is conjured by the dancing light on the water and the fairy tale charm of the old houses perched in rows along the canals, no two just alike. The spirit suddenly feels light and giddy with the ability to enjoy the warmth and light after months spent in damp, dark winter. I have memories of walking along the canals pausing to look in shop windows. Quickly dodging bikers zipping through the streets. Stopping in a perfect spot of sun on a bridge to stand on my toes and kiss my boyfriend. Sitting outside at a cafe to enjoy a cool beer and wile away the afternoon talking, smoking, and watching people pass by.

Tomorrow is Queen's Day. The offical day to party. The city becomes almost unrecognizable as the streets pack with people dressed in orange milling about shoulder to shoulder drinking, singing, and generally having a good time. Bands play. Boats clog the canals. It is a day when everyone is friendly and you never meet a stranger. My memories of Queen's Day include sitting in the window of my grandparent's apartment on one of the main canals in the city just watching the humanity pass by. Riding the train into town with friends and pulling beers out of a back pack we had brought so that we didn't have to spend all our money on overpriced drink. Marveling at the unreserved abandon of a people who are usually quite reserved and quiet.

The gift (and curse) of adolescence is the ability to completely inhabit the moment you are in. Each hour is either the best or the worst hour of your life. There is little thought for the past or the consequences for the future. That intensity of emotion of course makes my memories of time spent in Amsterdam that much more vivid. For a few minutes this morning I was transported back to the days of my adolescence - that is, until I was jerked back to the reality of my life now by the sounds of my 3 year old spilling his breakfast on the floor and the feeling of my 8 month old trying to chew on my leg to ease the pain of his teething.

I wonder what my intense, idealistic 16 year old self would think about the 31 year old woman I have become and the life I am now leading?

Pray on Thursday

Aaron found out late last week that his professors are willing to let him do another oral presentation this Thursday (4:00 pm) in order to be able to graduate in May! The oral exam will be an hour presentation of the project that he just finished this past week. He will have to talk for about an hour about how the project and his conclusions from the project match up with the benchmarks of the theory he learned in the master's program.

If you know Aaron then you know that he is not a man of many words. Speaking for a whole hour is going to be difficult for him. Aaron is really really smart and knows a lot of things in his head, he just isn't a prolific bs'er (like some of us...hee hee) so oral examinations are challenging.

Pray for our family this week!

1. That Aaron will be able to use his time wisely this week to prepare.

2. That I will have the physical and emotional energy to basically operate as a single parent until this exam is over. I am feeling very drained and still consistently only get about 5 hours of sleep a night (Nathaniel is just a bad and inconsistent sleeper). The house seems to always be a mess and I never seem to be able to figure out what we are having for dinner.

3. Jeremiah and Nathaniel (and I) both have really bad colds. Nathaniel has 4 teeth coming in! Jeremiah has been disobedient, throwing temper tantrums, and refusing to share. I feel like I am losing my mind. Pray that our house will be filled with peace, patience and love.

4. That Aaron will feel confident in his ability to communicate what he has learned. That he will pass this exam!

Day Out With Thomas

Yesterday was our "Day Out With Thomas." We headed out early and enjoyed a fun morning of all kinds of Thomas related activities - despite the fact that Jeremiah, Nathaniel and I were all fighting colds and congestion.

A Thomas tattoo

He is so proud of this. I am bit worried what we are going to do when it finally washes off.

Playing with the train sets

I think one of Jeremiah's favorite things was coloring and stamping the pictures.

Meeting Sir Topham Hat!

There was a neat little petting zoo. Jeremiah would not let me put him down.

This was such a pretty, gentle calf. But again Jeremiah was afraid and didn't want to touch her.

Finally ready for our ride on Thomas!

Watching the passing scenery.

Nathaniel thought the train ride was fun too.

Our boys

Oh wow - this is fun!

Papa and his boys enjoy the ride.

Jeremiah was conviced this was Cranky the Crane.

He talks about seeing this as much as seeing Thomas.

Jeremiah loved jumping in the air jump (he calls it the "jumper-jumper")

We made the mistake of waiting until the end of our outing to try and get a picture with Thomas. This was the best we could do....

Exploring

We have mobility!

We have been watching Nathaniel make more and more advances toward crawling. Then yesterday he saw Jeremiah playing with the "Going Fishing" game and all of the sudden made a beeline across the living room to lunge at the game and try to grab the little fish. I guess all it took was some motivation!

Nathaniel has a strange mix of traditional crawling and also putting his feet flat on the floor, sticking is butt straight up in the air and somehow managing to move forward in that position. It is quite amusing to watch.

Earth Day...late

Being "green" is the current hot trend. I am glad that more people are realizing the importance of caring responsibly for this earth we live on. I remember that for many years people that I knew in Christian circles looked at me funny when I talked about environmental responsibility. I guess they thought I was some kind of liberal freak.

I feel like I was raised with a consciousness for caring for the earth. I don't know if this was because my parents were really environmentally conscious or if it was out of economic necessity (probably a combination of both) but I was raised to conserve and be aware of the waste I created and the energy that I used. We never turned the heat above a certain degree. We always turned off lights when we left a room. We hung out clothes out to dry. When possible we recycled. Living in Europe gave us a great advantage because (for whatever reason) the Dutch society is just naturally set up to be more environmentally conscious and friendly.

As a family we have been trying to do our part in conserving and caring for our natural resources. There are some things here in rural Georgia that are more difficult because we don't have access to recycling (other than paper) and organic products are very very expensive. But we have found other little ways to do our part that really were not difficult to implement in our family life and routine. Maybe you can be inspired by our list and see what little changes you can make as well.

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What we currently do:

1. Compact light bulbs - all the bulbs in our house are now compact.

2. Reusable shopping bags - I bring my own bags when I do grocery shopping. Wal-mart sells them for $1 a piece and I have 4 of those that hold my usual weekly amount of groceries. They stay in the car so that I always have them. It really is amazing how many of those annoying little plastic bags we have not used in the past few months!

3. Unplug appliances that are not in use - Did you know that appliances use 40% of their regular amount of energy when they are plugged in and not in use? We unplug our microwave, coffee maker, computer, etc. when we are not using them. We never leave cell phone chargers plugged in after the phones are done charging.

4. Water - I was raised to take showers that are between 3-5 minutes long. I am trying to get Aaron to do the same. We never leave the water running while brushing our teeth. I wash our clothes in cold water. I only run the dish washer or laundry when I have a full load.

5. Recycle - Currently we can only recycle paper, better than not recycling anything.

6. No plastic bottles! - We each have reusable water bottles that we fill from our Brita pitcher.

7. Heat/Cooling- Our heat thermostat is never set above 65 degrees. Sure, it can get cool in the winter but we just pile on more clothes. We don't have central air (which is actually more environmentally friendly) so we try and keep our windows open as much as possible, use fans to circulate air, and when it just gets unbearably humid and hot here we only run the a/c unit in the room that we are actually in at the time and close all the other doors.

8. Cars & Fuel - Even before gas prices went up I tried to combine errands and trips and do as little driving as I could. I try to walk to places close by like the library, bank, and grocery store for small trips. We have been able to always have 1 car that gets really good gas mileage. (We have been salivating over hybrids even before they were "cool.")

9. Paper - We recycle paper products. I use rags instead of paper towels. I use the backs of junk mail envelopes for grocery lists. I reuse the fronts of cards I receive to make new cards for people. We keep a pile of scrap paper for Jeremiah's art projects.

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What we would like to do:

1. Hang laundry- These past few weeks I have been hanging a good part of our laundry outside on a drying rack. But I am hoping we can get a clothesline for me to use exclusively this summer.

2. Composting - We have a very large yard and it would be very possible for us to start a compost area. The problem is that if we put the house on the market a compost area may not appeal to buyers.....
3. Organic & Local - This summer I am going to make a bigger effort to buy local produce (I may even grow some of my own). We love to buy organic but with our financial situation right now that is just not in the budget.

4. Cleaning products - I have done a lot of research and found that baking soda and vinegar will clean almost everything in the house. So when all my Method products are used up I will be using baking soda, vinegar and lemons for most of my cleaning needs! I am really pumped about this!

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I believe that as Christians we have a moral and ethical responsibility to think about how the way we live effects our earth and other people on the earth. It disgusts me that most of the society around me is so wasteful without even thinking about how their waste impacts other people. I admit that there are times when conserving and being environmentally friendly is uncomfortable and inconvenient. I mean, trying to live without a/c in the heat and humidity of Georgia summers is just not fun. But I think it is worth it. They way I live effects other people and will have an impact on the world I leave for my children and grandchildren.

A time out

We went to Atlanta on Saturday and spent the night with Uncle Caleb & Aunt Monica. It was fun to get away for a little while and kind of forget about our stresses and strains for a few days. We hung out, played "Rock Band" (a really fun video game - just try keeping Jeremiah away from the drums and microphone, hee hee), went to the park, went to Perimeter Presbyterian Church, and got to see the house that they are hoping to buy.

We didn't take many pictures but Moni did. You can check them out here.

Aaron has spring break this week but has a lot of school work to do. So he has left for the library where hopefully he can actually concentrate and get some work done. Still it was nice to have him around for breakfast and it will be a nice change in our routine to have him home for lunch and hopefully earlier in the afternoons.

Disappointment

"Still waiting for God to give us a break around here."

I stole that line from a friend's blog. She wrote that when their family was experiencing a hard time. It is exactly what went through my mind yesterday evening when Aaron called me to tell me that his oral exam had not went well. The professors thought that he needs to complete one extra project before he can graduate. That means he will not graduate this May.

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

This graduate school process has been so hard on all of us. It takes so much of Aaron's time and so much of our money. For the past 4 years it has really been putting a strain on our family and we were so excited that it would all be finished in just a few weeks.

The other part of this is that Aaron will get a pretty significant pay increase once he has his master's degree. I have been told that it is tacky to talk about money, but in the interest of honesty I will tell you that we have really been struggling financially the past few months since I have not been paid my MCC. Those of you who have been there know how stressful lack of finances can be. We were hoping for some relief when his pay increase kicked in later in May.

So today we are still processing this disappointment.

We still trust God's plan and care for us. And we know intellectually that in the big picture this is just a minor set back. But we are tired, emotionally drained and feeling a lot of strain.

I am so proud of Aaron. He has been working so hard this past year especially. His first year of teaching has been really challenging. He wakes early to leave for work, takes time every evening to spend with the kids, and works late into the night grading papers or doing his grad school work. He has never once complained. Never.

Please pray for us.

I thought it providential that the little calendar in my kitchen that has daily quotes read this yesterday:

The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. - John Holt

Working for a living

Last night was my first shift as a minimum wage employee at Sonic. Today while we were chatting via web-cam my parents asked me how it went. Here are some of my thoughts.

1. I heard more gossip in my first half hour there than I have heard in the past 6 years (since I left DFCS).

2. While the national numbers for teen pregnancy have gone down it seems to still be an issue in our community. Last night I met 3 girls (ages 20, 17, and 15) who were all pregnant or had just recently had a baby.

3. Language! I had forgotten that in "the real world" people drop curse words at least once per sentence.

4. Flirting with members of the opposite sex was rampant and accepted, even if you were married or had a significant other.

5. It is much easier to tell a persons character by their actions rather than their words. Within about 20 minutes of being there and observing I could pretty much tell who were the real workers and people with integrity and those who weren't.

6. It is sad how the lack of education and opportunity breeds apathy and fatalism.

7. The middle school that Aaron teaches at has such a reputation for kids with bad behavior that most of the high school students that I talked to last night expressed sympathy when I told them where Aaron taught. Seriously. They all said, "Oh, I'm sorry for him. Those kids are the worst - and we should know!"

8. My left hip is still out of whack since giving birth. It was hurting so bad by the end of my shift that I couldn't even balance on my left leg in order to change my clothes. I felt like an old woman.

9. Even though this is a physically demanding job I already feel less stress in my life from not having to worry about MCC stuff and responsibility.

10. I have been living in a sheltered Christianized world the past few years. I realized last night I have really had very little contact with non-Christian people lately. I realized again last night that this small town community has so many needs, issues and cycles of sin. I hope that just by being compassionate, hard working, and real I will be able to make some kind of small difference in this new place God has put me. Imagine - a small town Sonic restaurant being a mission field! :-)

The little comedian

Jeremiah tells a "joke" that he just thinks is the funniest thing ever. He tells it to us at least once a day.

Here is what he is saying:

"One day when grandmommy was at our house she drawed a cat for me and I said, that's not a cat grandmommy!"

This stems from a time that Brenda came to watch the kids for me. She was drawing pictures and shapes for Jeremiah in the driveway and apparently her cat did not look like a cat to Jeremiah.

Ready to be mobile

Nathaniel wants to start crawling so badly! He gets very excited and wants to be part of any action around him that he sees. Initially his excitement caused him to lay on his belly and start kicking his legs and feet around, but they didn't make any contact with the floor and he would get frustrated. I guess he felt like he should be moving but wasn't. In the past few days he has started creeping forward bit by bit on his bottom in the sitting position. It's funny to watch. He will lean forward as far as he can, place his hands of the floor and then drag his bottom along bit by bit until it reaches the place where he has placed his hands.This works much better for him on the hardwood. And of course he can turn around in circles while on his tummy and is able to push himself backwards with his arms.

It continues to amaze me how children develop so quickly. Yesterday it was like something clicked in his head and he figured out how to get up on his hands and knees for extended periods of time. He hasn't figured out how to coordinate the actual crawling yet, but the sure sign that is one the way is his rocking back and forth while on all fours.

So he is ready to go.

Jeremiah has no idea of how his world is about to change.

I am not sure I am ready for the new level of vigilance that it will take on my part to keep up with a crawling baby.

Weekend doings

Nathaniel loves to ride on Papa's shoulders!

Jeremiah got enjoy some time with Papa on Saturday.

He was thrilled. Every morning when he wakes up he says, "Papa bear's at work."

On Sunday we went to Grannie's house after church to celebrate her birthday with her. What a blessing to be able to visit with her. The chemo treatments definitely have her tired and feeling sick, but her characteristic spunk and energy still shine through. Please pray for her complete healing from this cancer.

A busy week lies ahead. Aaron has his final oral exams for grad school (Thursday night, so pray if you feel led!), I will work 2 nights at Sonic and will also still be doing stuff for MCC. Despite the busy-ness I feel a sense of peace and contentment.

In his sermon on Sunday Travis encouraged us to think about 3 people that God was calling us to share the gospel with. His sermon really challenged me to be more intentional about sharing Christ's love with others. I have a lot to think about.

Here is a new song that we sang that encouraged me to worship with joy and awe of the salvation of our God!

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In the name of the Father

In the name of the Son

In the name of the Spirit

Lord we've come

We're gathered together

To lift up Your name

To call on our savior

To fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound of our offering

As your saints bow down, as your people sing

We will rise with You, lifted on Your wings

And the world will see that

Our God saves, our God saves

There is hope in Your name

Mourning turns to songs of praise

Our God saves, our God saves

- by Paul Baloche

You're doing what?!

Well, changes continue happening around here.

After a lot of thought, prayer, and tears I have told the board of directors of Mercy's Chosen Children that I will be resigning as Director of the agency at the end of this month. There are many reasons for this. The main one being that with 2 little ones at home I just don't have the time to give to MCC the way that I would like. I plan on still being involved with MCC by helping in any way that I can but I just didn't feel like I could continue the responsibility of directing the agency.

However, I have to have some income, even if it is small. We have been struggling the past few months as MCC has had financial difficulties and I have not been getting paid. Obviously I don't want to work full-time and put the kids in day care. So I now have a new and interesting adventure in store. I will be working 3-4 nights a week at Sonic - our local drive in fast food restaurant. I realize that this is not a career or a dream job. It may sound funny but I am actually looking forward to it. I think after all the uncertainty and stress that I have felt over MCC I am ready for a simple job where all I have to do is show up and work and then go home and not think about work again. I am even looking forward to getting out of the house a few evenings a week and interacting with other people.

Of course this change will have a big effect on our family. Aaron is a trooper and is willing to care for the boys the evenings that I work. It will probably take a few weeks for me to get used to the work and the changed hours (3 nights a week from 6pm - 11pm). But I think we will be ok.

It seems the old adage is true - the only thing that is certain is that things will always change.