The essence of home

I found these pictures lurking on my camera's memory card. So now you get to enjoy them. :-)
Last week passed by in a whirl of funeral activities, soccer practices, extra doctors visits for Nathaniel, and other responsibilities. On Friday I was thinking about how the house needed a good deep cleaning and organizing when I got a phone call from my grandmother. They are going to be in our area this week and would like to visit.
Of course I would LOVE for them to visit, but what would they think of the pile of boxes in the "turtle room", or the yellow cover on the the armchair that just got a hole in it but I don't have the extra money in the budget yet to replace, or the pile of extra stuff in the guestroom that I haven't gotten around to organizing yet, or the extra loads of laundry that I know will not be done by the time they get here? I am realizing that I am going to have to let go of my vision of them "oohing" and "aahing" over a house that looks like it should be in Better Homes & Gardens.
I figured that I have 2 days to
1) make myself (and Aaron and the boys) crazy by trying to conform my house to my vision of what I want to "show off" for my grandparents, or
2) relax, make sure there are enough groceries in the house, the guestroom is inviting, the bathrooms are clean and enjoy their visit.

One of my greatest challenges is letting go of what other people think of me!

It is no secret that I am not the world's best house keeper. I do enough for basic sanitation, hee hee, but my house will never look like a magazine cover. Even when I didn't have two little boys creating chaos every day there was always some part of the house that was cluttered and unorganized. I have been known to leave the dinner dishes in the sink overnight on evenings when I was just too tired to do anymore housework. I vacuum often but the floors can go for a long time without being mopped (gasp!). I like to think that I can create an inviting home without having to slave for hours and hours.

My grandmother's home is always clean and beautifully decorated. She always has a tasty treat to offer along with a cup of tea. But those external things are not what I think of when I think of the essence of my grandparents home. The essence of my grandparents home is love, prayer, music, laughter, simple yet tasty meals around the table, good conversation, welcoming acceptance.

I just realized. We have all those things at our house too!

I'm proud to be a soccer mom

Jeremiah's first soccer practice was last night. It had been a busy day (Grannie's funeral) but he was so excited to strap on his cleats and head out to the field. It was a beautiful, cool evening with the promise of fall in the air. Excited kids were running everywhere while their parents looked proudly on. We found Jeremiah's team and coach and he ran right out with the other 3 kids he was to practice with.
And for an hour he had a blast!
He ran. He kicked. He spun in circles when he got bored. He jumped up and down. He concentrated hard on running and kicking. He laughed with the other kids lined up next to him. He interjected comments like, "Excuse me! But I can't kick that hard." when the coach showed them what to do.
Aaron and I took turns chasing and corralling Nathaniel (I have no idea how we are going to make this one wait 2 more years until he can play). We also met some of the parents of other kids on the team.
I am looking forward to this new experience. I know that Jeremiah will have so much fun. I think he will learn a lot not just about soccer but about listening to other adults and playing with other children. I am hoping that this will also be another intentional way for Aaron and I to put down deeper roots in this community.
Go team!

Anatomy of a goal

Thanks be to God!

On Sunday afternoon Grannie Bettis' spirit left this earth and went to be with her Savior. This was her final battle with cancer, and she had been in pain for the past few weeks. Every time we visited her over the past few weeks she asked us to pray that God would deliver her from her pain and take her to Him. Last week we were able to go to the nursing home and visit her for what we knew to be the final time. We were all able to say good-bye and spend a few moments in prayer.
We will miss Grannie for sure. She was always spunky, honest, caring, and hard working. She was generous (sometimes to a fault) and welcoming. She dearly loved her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and always welcomed impromptu visits. Grannie had many difficulties in this life but her faith was strong. And Grannie could sew!

Once again, being brought face to face with the reality of death brings me face to face with the reality of Christ's victory over death. Jesus had brought us the ultimate victory over our sin and death! What joy that eternal, spiritual promise brings despite the earthly sorrow that we now experience.

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not sleep, but we will all be changed -- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
Where , o death, is your victory?
Where, o death, is your sting?
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
- I Corinthians 15:51-56

God IS in the details

I have been in a deep spiritual rut lately. On the one hand I feel deep conviction over many areas of my life that need changing, on the other hand I feel the powerlessness of my sinful nature and wonder if change is even possible.

So I am now pondering this event that happened this morning.
--
I was back from taking Nathaniel to see the doctor. The boys had finished their promised reward of a video (and I threw in some gummi bears for their great behavior at the doctor's office) and were clamoring for my attention. I was ready to get lunch over with so that I could put the boys down for their naps and enjoy some quiet time to myself.

The phone rang. Ugh.

A man from our church had received a call from a young woman who was obviously upset about finding out she was pregnant. She was trying to call a women's center that provided abortions but "by accident" called Mr. X instead. Mr. X told me that he had given her the number to our pro-life women's center but he just felt like someone should follow up. More accurately, he felt that I should follow up with her. (He's telling me this while Jeremiah is riding around the house like a wild man on his "popper" and Nathaniel is hanging on my leg screaming to talk to papa.)

I took down her number but all I could think was, "Yeah right. I'm going to call some stranger up out of the blue and see if she will confide her personal problems to me. Sure." Plus, I had things that I had to get done today! I walked around the house for a few minutes cleaning up the DVD's that Nathaniel had dumped on the floor (again), putting away some laundry, starting to prepare lunch. But this nagging feeling continued in my chest. I was convicted that I had to try and call this young woman. It still sounded crazy to me, but I figured the worst thing that could happen would be that she tells me to mind my own business and hangs up.

I prayed. Then I dialed the number.

Instead of hanging up on me the young woman talked to me for almost an hour. (And miracle of miracles my kids were quiet the whole time!) Obviously I am not going to put all the details up here except to say that she is abortion minded. She is depressed. She is overwhelmed. She has no idea who to turn to or what to do. I gave her the number of my OBGYN & midwife (who are pro-life). I got her permission to give her information to our local crisis pregnancy center. I gave her my phone number and told her to call me if she needed anything but also got her permission to call her back in the next few days. She allowed me to pray with her.
--

Listen folks, God in in charge of every detail of our lives. He planned for this young women to dial the wrong number. He planned for me to call her back. He knows already about the little life that is growing at this moment in her womb. I don't know what the final result of this phone call will be but I know that God is in complete control.

I am no great spiritual saint. I have been struggling with deep sin and selfishness in the past few weeks. When I say that, I mean that I really have been a selfish, whining, complaining, angry b*&%$. Today God showed me a glimpse of His grace and goodness when I look beyond myself and serve Him in spite of my weakness and selfishness.

After I was done with this amazing phone call I went to investigate this miracle of quietness that had occurred. I found that Jeremiah had taken a purple marker and drawn a huge dragon on the sun room wall....

The great homeschooling experiment

I think that we are finding a good rhythm to our days with papa gone at work. Last week was really hard for some reason. But so far (and it is only Tuesday) this week seems to be better. I have learned the importance of structure and routine when raising little ones. There has to be a plan for the day and the boys have to know what is coming next or chaos ensues and no one is happy.

We are continuing what I think of as "the great homeschooling experiment." When we decided not to send Jeremiah to a formal pre-K program this year we decided to make our schooling decisions for the boys on a yearly basis. For this year, Jeremiah's needs can best be served here at home. But, it is an experiment because:
1) I never ever in a million years pictured myself homeschooling so I am having to adjust my mindset a little (I must admit that I was/am one of those mothers that actually looked forward to waving my kids off to school on their first day and reclaiming some time for myself and other pursuits),
2) not having done any homeschooling before we have yet to see how the structure of it will take shape
3) we have no idea if Jeremiah will actually take to it.

Since this first year is pre-K we are easing into the homeschooling process. I have the idea that we will set aside some time for school work 3 mornings a week but I am willing to skip formal school work time for a fun outing or get together with other moms & children. Our main goal for schooling Jeremiah is that he will develop a love of learning.

I must admit that as I started poking around the internet and reading different books I started to become a tad overwhelmed (poking around the internet has that effect on me simply due to the vast amount of information). There are so many different home school models, methods, curriculum, activities. My mind was spinning and I thought, "There is absolutely no way on earth I can do this."

That's when I ran across this Rule of Six on a friends blog post (originates from this blog)
Six things to include in a child's day:
1. Meaningful work
2. Imaginative play
3. Good books
4. Beauty (art, nature, etc.)
5. Ideas to ponder & discuss
6. Prayer

Well now, I can do - and have been doing - that!

How freeing it was for me to realize that I don't have to be the most creative crafter or the most structured teacher in order for homeschooling to be effective. I had let myself fall into the trap of separating Jeremiah's education from our daily life. When I pondered this Rule of Six I realized that we have been educating Jeremiah since the day he was born. And I think that so far we have done a pretty good job. There are lots of things he can do (read, color in the lines, count) but more importantly he is a little boy who already shows a desire to learn.

So I am clearing my mind of my preconceived ideas of what it means to be a home schooling mom and proceeding with our own version of pre-K that mostly involves the 6 elements of our day and letting Jeremiah be a 4 year old boy discovering his world.

Let the adventure begin! (or do I mean continue?)

Par-tay

The deck, decked out for a party

The world of make believe in the back yard

Of course when you get a bunch of boys together they will play with cars (while Jeremiah pretends to be a ghost.)

Opening presents is fun for all.
But really, when you are 2 the party is all about....

CAKE!!!!

Summer Ice Cream

1/2 gallon mint chocolate chip icecream from Aldi - $1.75
left over cones from Jeremiah's 4yr birthday cake - $0.00
two boys enjoying a sweet treat on a beautiful summer evening - priceless!

You are good

This is an amazing song that God recently brought to my attention. I have listened to it many times in the past few days and found comfort and peace in the truth of God's amazing goodness. I hope you take a minute to let it do the same for you.



When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight
You are good

When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned
You are good, so good
And when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are good, so good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
'Cause its more than enough just to know that I'm loved
And you are good

So how can I thank you and what can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of the King?
So I'll sing you a love song it's all that I have
To tell you I'm grateful for holding my life in your hands

When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul
You are still good
When the world has gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell even then it is well
And you are good
- Lyrics by Clint Lagerberg, Nicole Nordeman

Nathaniel is 2 years old!

It sounds so cliche but I honestly and truly can't believe that this little monkey of ours is turning 2 years old today.
This child is a ray of sunshine to all he meets. I love that he loves people and knows their names after being told once. I love the way he says, "O-TAY" when I ask him to do something. I love his impish smile that lights up the world. I love the way he raises up his arms and says, "Need mama" when he wants some snuggles. I love how he already enjoys thanking God for the things that are important to him, "Tank Gee-jus _____." I love how he wraps his skinny little arms around my neck and pats my back when I get him out of his crib. I love his adventurous spirit. I love that he can balance on the smallest of ledges but still stumbles over his feet when he gets running too fast. I love the way he wrestles with his big brother like a lion cub. I love how he sits and looks at books, exclaiming over every page. I love how he sandwiches my face with his hands and rubs his cheek against mine. I love his pride in his accomplishments or his acknowledgement of a joke, "Look [what] I did!"
Nathaniel radiates energy, enthusiasm, and joy. We are more than grateful for this little man that has been entrusted to us. We pray that he will grow to know Jesus as his Saviour and serve Him with all his heart.

Just for fun

Hope my brothers enjoy this! :-)
Also good to know that this was totally his own creation......

A bad day?

Yesterday was a bad day. By bad, I mead B-A-D.
Maybe it was the fact that Nathaniel spiked a 103 degree fever and wanted to be held all day. Maybe it was the fact that it was Aaron's second day back at work for the new school year. Maybe it was the fact that on our second day of pre-K homeschooling Jeremiah showed his independent streak and refused to do part of the worksheets I had prepared. Maybe it was the fact that once Aaron did return home after a long days work we received a phone call that the plumbing in our rental property was backed up, for the 3rd time in 4 days, and he had to go work on it.

But I can't really blame it on those things. In the past I have handled things like that with grace and patience.
The truth...yesterday I simply did not want to be a mother. Or a wife.
I felt stifled by the fact that someone needed something from me every moment of the day. I felt frustrated that I hadn't been out of the house or interacted with anyone but my husband or kids for the better part of the week.
The truth...I sinned horribly. I yelled at the kids. I was upset with my husband for things beyond his control. I sulked. I was quick to spank Jeremiah for a small infraction.

These are the kind of parenting days that no one tells you about. They are the kind of parenting days that you are positive that no one else has ever had. They are the kind of days that leave you feeling extremely guilty.

Then something happened. At 11:30 at night Nathaniel needed me. I dragged myself out of the bed that I had just collapsed into and found myself strangely full of joy. Nathaniel was standing in his crib with his arms reached out to me calling, "Mama, need you!" Instead of weariness and resentment God filled my heart with calm and quiet. I got him a cup of juice and snuggled him. As I cuddled his little body and gazed on Jeremiah sprawled on his bed I sought God's forgiveness for sinning against these two precious little ones. I felt His grace. I felt the guilt wash away.

This morning Nathaniel slept until 7:30! I was able to greet him with a smile when I heard him call from his bed, "Goo-t nap mama!" Jeremiah slept until 8:00! As we had our morning snuggle time on the couch I asked him to forgive me. I told him that the way I had treated him yesterday was wrong. What joy to see my sleepy-eyed, tousled haired, batman pj clad little boy look at me clearly and say without hesitation, "Of course I forgive you mama! I love you!"

And with that a new day began.

What Mama is reading

Our first morning with Aaron off at work is over and I am rewarding myself with a cup of coffee and a (ok fine, 2) chocolate chip cookie. He didn't have to leave until 9am so we had a good breakfast of pancakes and eased into our morning.
Anyway.
I have had the chance to do a lot of reading this summer. A lot. I have used the extra time this summer to read old friends that I found when we unpacked books (Anne of Green Gables series) as well as discover new authors (Jodi Picoult). I have also taken the opportunity to read non-fiction books that have been on my Amazon wish list for a while now (Adopted for Life, Growing Compassionate Kids, Shepherding a Child's Heart).
I am usually reading more than one book at a time. My books are scattered through the house so that there is always one close enough for me to pick up when I have a moment or two. A devotional and novel always grace the bedside table. A novel, non-fiction book, and a magazine are on the end table in the living room. And there are always one or two books of mine tucked away in the sunroom for me to grab if it looks like the boys are playing well enough alone that they don't need me.
Since we go to the library every Monday my rotation of books changes on a weekly basis. This is what I have floating around the house this week.
Sonlight Homeschool Curriculum Catalog - I have had a few friends recommend this curriculum to me should we continue with homeschooling. It is a reading/literature based program which sounds like it would work great for our family since we all love to read. I am looking through the catalog to see what they offer and decide if it would be a good option for us once Jeremiah is formally in the 1st grade and Nathaniel is pre-K age. I am liking what I have seen so far.
The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien- Aaron and I decided to re-watch the movies last week. So I decided to re-read the books. These are just classics that I love to read over and over again.
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson - I am going to admit something here, I am not generally a Dobson fan. I usually find his tone to be judgemental and condescending. I have not really been able to relate to his other parenting books because he is so black vs. white in what he feels are proper parenting techniques. I picked this up because I have boys and sometimes I am at a total loss as to how to raise them to be godly men. Again, Dobson is very conservative and fundamental in what he sees to be the challenges facing young men these days, but to my surprise I actually agree with much of what he says. I just wish he would have a few more practical tips and advice that I could use in daily life with my boys.
The Vaccine Book by Robert W. Sears, MD - I have blogged about this book before. I love it! I am reading it again as I prepare for Nathaniel's 2 year well child check up. The website is awesome too. I have come to really enjoy all the various Dr. Sears parenting books. They tend to fit my style of parenting much more than Dobson does.
The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Shaeffer - This book is really challenging me. It is encouraging me to see my home and family as an outlet for artistic gifts that I (and others in the family) may have. I am being inspired to see beauty in my daily life and bring simple beauty into our home. The purpose of that beauty is for our home to inspire rest and creativity for our family as well as to create a place where people are welcome and feel the presence of God. I highly recommend this book to all women who have a home (or apartment, or cabin, or trailer) to care for, even if you are not married and don't have kids.

So that is what I am reading this week! What about you?

School Begins

Today is our last day of "summer break." Aaron goes back to work tomorrow to prepare his classroom with kids returning to school on Thursday. I must admit that I am a tad anxious about this. It has been so great having his help here at home. Jeremiah responds so well to Aaron's patient parenting. I admit I tend to get impatient and irritable with Jeremiah.
I have been mentally preparing to hit the ground running once Aaron is back at work. It is my goal to wake before the boys do (they wake around 7am now) and have a few minutes for coffee and Bible reading to prepare myself for the day. I know it is going to take a few days for the 3 of us at home to re-establish a routine.
We did not have to make any formal decisions regarding schooling for Jeremiah this year as he is only 4 and would be going to a pre-K program. We discussed our options and at the end of the day felt that paying even the low cost of $50/week for the church run pre-K program was just a waste of money. We would really be sending him to school for "socialization" (I really don't like that word) and Aaron and I both feel that we can provide enough opportunities for Jeremiah to "socialize" without having to pay for it.
That being said, we do feel that it is important to start some kind of schooling routine. It will not be every day at this point but probably about 3 mornings a week for just an hour or so. The idea is for Jeremiah (and me) to get into the habit of having a regular learning time. I decided not to pay for a complete curriculum (it's just pre-K folks!) but to piece together some fun learning things as I found them. I found great work books at the Target $1 spot and a Leap Frog math puzzle game at a salvage store. We also go to story hour at our library every Monday morning and I thought that we could utilize that time to find books that correspond to what we are learning that week.
We will be focusing on Math, Social Studies and Science. As for reading, he reads all the time! We are moving on to more advanced reading comprehension by reading chapters from the original Winnie the Pooh books and talking about them. Jeremiah loves Winnie the Pooh and has been pretending to be Tigger for almost a month now. He likes to say, "I spend my day bouncing around!" and "Yeck! Tigger's don't like ----!"
As for "socialization". We are considering starting him in the local rec-club soccer program this fall.
So we shall see how this all goes. It is going to take discipline and planning on my part. Yet I feel some excitement as we start this new phase. If you have any advice about home schooling pre-schoolers or home schooling in general I welcome it!

Soap Nuts?! What?!

I have found myself on a quest. I am searching for laundry detergent that is good for the environment, cleans my clothes, and hopefully doesn't cost me and arm and a leg. I have made a powder version of laundry detergent myself that I thought did a pretty good job but there was some problems with the shaved bar soap not dissolving completely and sometimes I would get white splotches on dark clothing. Then I read that Borax, which was supposed to be the environmentally friendly go-to cleaner, really wasn't that environmentally friendly. So I started making another recipe that didn't include Borax. But that recipe takes longer to make, and just doesn't seem to clean as well as I would like.
So I was very interested when I started reading about Soap Nuts. That's right. Soap, that is nuts. Like from a tree. The website says, "soap nuts are extremely gentle, biodegradable, hypoallergenic, additive free, yet highly effective."
Passionate Homemaking is having a give away of a new product of liquid detergent from soap nuts.
I am willing to give it a try. This may be the answer to my sustainable, environmentally friendly, frugal, and effective laundry detergent needs.

Dirt

The project this weekend was to fill in the pond. It has been empty for a few weeks and we were finally able to borrow a truck so that we could go buy the necessary quantities of dirt. That's right. We had to buy dirt.

Thankfully the truck just managed to squeeze through the back gate. It would have been a lot harder if Aaron would have had to bring the dirt in with a wheel barrow.

The hole is now completely full and awaiting a layer of top soil. That will be a project for another time though as we want to pack and level the dirt and rearrange the pavers to make a nice seating area. So for right now it is a make shift sand box. The boys love it!

Jeremiah preferred to be productive in the dirt. Digging holes, moving rocks etc. He hardly got dirty at all. Nathaniel on the other hand:

Go ahead and report us to child services. This kid has been eating dirt since he was a baby....

You can imagine all the places we found dirt on this kid. Covered from head to toe (and in his diaper and on his scalp and in between his toes and under his fingernails and behind his ears....).

Meeting Jesus

Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus I come, Jesus I come
Into Thy freedom, gladness and light
Jesus I come to Thee
Out of my sickness into Thy health
Out of my wanting into Thy wealth
Out of my sin and into Thyself
Jesus I come to Thee

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb
Jesus I come, Jesus I come
Into the joy and light of Thy home
Jesus I come to Thee
Out of the depths of ruin untold
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold
Ever Thy glorious face to behold
Jesus I come to Thee

Death looks different when you love Jesus. There is a peace. A desire to be home. And when you love the person dying you have that same peace and desire despite your own sorrow.

Aaron's Grannie is in the hospital. Her cancer has advanced and she is facing the end of her earthly days. We have been bringing the boys to visit her at the hospital with a special emphasis this weekend on the fact that this could be the last time they see her here on earth. Jeremiah is hesitant to approach the bed, but informs me daily that he wants to visit Grannie and to sing to her. He brings his children's Bible so that he can read her stories. Nathaniel willingly gives her hugs and kisses, and yesterday sweetly held her hand and prayed "gee-jus gannie feel better."

Grannie's prayer is that she go home to be with her Saviour. She is tired and in pain and is ready to be home. This afternoon our little family, joined by Steve & Brenda (Aaron's parents), Caleb & Monica, and Cherise stood around her bed and sang. We were led in prayer by our pastor. It was a sweet moment and we felt God's presence.

Some of Aaron's family do not trust in Jesus for their salvation. To them death is frightening and they despair when they think that this goodbye will be forever. Pray that we would have the strength to show them the light of the Gospel in the midst of sorrow.

Train Table!

The newest arrangement in the sunroom since we got a train table for the boys (gotta love Craigslist!). This is the view from the front door by the carport. I like how there is now a cozy, distinct conversation area on the right, and room for the boys table and toys (translate "mess") just out of sight on the left.

This is the opposite view from the back door. Just in case you care about stuff like that....

I think the train table will be a great asset. We have been collecting some Thomas trains since Jeremiah was 2 but have never really played with them because there was no convenient place to put them. This should also work for Lego's, craft projects, cars, etc.

Notice the sibling rivalry here. We are learning to share....

The first afternoon of play was a success! Let's hope this table facilitates hours of fun for the boys and maybe a little break for me if they can learn to play together without needing me to help. :-)

Glimpses of grace

What a great comment my friend made in my last post! We need to preach the gospel to our children every day just like we need to preach the gospel to ourselves every day! And it truly does my heart glad when I get the glimpses of grace that glimmer through in the lives of my boys.
Like last Sunday when Jeremiah walked door to door with us handing out flyers to invite kids to VBS at our church. It did not bother him a bit to knock on doors in the "questionable" neighborhood and happily quip, "Hello, my name is Jeremiah. I would like to invite you to our Bible school!" with a big smile.
Like when I hear Jeremiah start singing a worship song at the top of his lungs in the middle of Wal-mart, completely out of the blue. Sure we drew some strange looks from people, but my son was praising Jesus!
Like when Nathaniel insists on praying before meal time and his sweet little voice says, "tank gee-sus food, tank gee-sus Eli n Shanna, tank gee-sus go outside. amen!"
Like when Nathaniel gets excited, jumping up and down and clapping his hands saying "sing songs gee-jus!" when I tell him it is Sunday morning and we get to go to church.
And even when Jeremiah corrects me saying, "Mama, you should not speak in an angry tone of voice. It is not kind and loving."
God promises to be faithful to the generations of those who seek Him. I choose to claim those promises and continue to look for those glimpses of grace!

On total depravity

A conversation I overheard this morning reminded me of the need Jeremiah has for a Savior and in turn my need for one as well.

Jeremiah: How do I get my sin back?
Aaron: What do you mean?
J: You know, the sin that Jesus took. How do I get it back?
A: proceeds to give a short, 4 year old appropriate narrative of sin, how it keeps us from God and how Jesus righteousness covers it when he died on the cross ending with, do you want to be with God?
J: No, I don't think so.

The theology of total depravity (everyone is born sinful) is not a happy thing to think about. People tend to want to avoid it saying that they believe people are basically good. However, I know that I have only to look into my own heart to know that aside from Christ's work in me my sins of selfishness, anger, laziness and pride (just to name a few) would take total control over my life. Having children has shown me the sinfulness that lurks in human hearts on a totally different level.
Jeremiah's statement this morning shows with simple childlike truth what the Bible teaches us. That even our salvation is not a work of our own. If left on our own in our sin we would not even want to be with God. Yet, God, out of infinite love, reaches to us and saves us. He uses the Spirit to turn our hearts toward Him.
There is not doubt that my children need a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. It is not guaranteed that they will love Jesus just because they are growing up in a Christian home, attending church every Sunday, learning to be polite, and being taught how to be "good people." As a mother I pray every day that my boys will be brought by the Spirit to see the depth of their sin, their need for a Savior. I pray they become men who love God more than anything on this earth and serve Him with their whole hearts and lives. The conversation I heard this morning reminded me that these prayers are not just nice "Christian-eze" prayers that I do because I have to. I was reminded that there is battle raging around us that we cannot see with physical eyes and the souls of my children are at stake.