Sometimes my boys have their own ideas. They forge ahead without listening to me, unaware of danger or consequences. They don't want to be taught. They don't want to listen. They don't want to obey because they have something in their mind and don't want to let it go. They think that I require obedience because I am mean and trying to spoil their fun. They don't realize that I lay down boundaries, require obedience, and even discipline them because I love them. They don't realize that I am trying to teach them and sometimes I am keeping them safe from unknown dangers.
I am exactly like that sometimes in my relationship with God. His Word is there for me to listen to and learn from. Yet I forge ahead in my own life, convinced that my way is the right way. Sometimes I am fully aware of the consequences of my actions and sometimes I am not.
I am convinced that God had specific lessons He wanted us to learn in the events of the past months. I have been praying a lot lately that God would show me what those lessons are. That I would be changed by what God is teaching me.
1. Trust/Dependence/Prayer
During the past few months I have spent more time in prayer and reading the Bible. I found myself praying almost unceasingly during the day. When panic would start rising I would ask God for peace. When I started getting irritated and angry with the boys because I was worried I would ask God for patience. When my comfort and security were gone I recognized that I needed God in very real and immediate ways. Seeing God answer my pleading daily prayers as well as our larger over-arching prayer has built my faith in remarkable ways.
2. Financial Stewardship
All our money belongs to God. All of it. Not just our 10% tithe, or the extra we give comfortably out of our surplus. Every single cent that we have has been given to us by God to use for His glory. I struggle so much in this area! But I have become convicted that even though our spending habits were not extravagant they were selfish. I tremble to write this but I feel God teaching us to give sacrificially. Yet, like a child I want to scream "mine!" and throw a temper tantrum.
3. Marriage
Our marriage has grown in new ways. We have had to keep learning how to communicate lovingly and effectively. We have had to learn how to give each other space for new thoughts and deep emotion. I have learned so much in just a few short months about what it means for me to be a supportive wife to Aaron; emotionally, physically, spiritually. I hope those lessons will stick with me as we head into this new job and a busy fall season.
4. Community
I have no words to describe how uplifted and encouraged I have felt by the people around us. This process would have been much more difficult without the support we felt from our church family as well as our friends and family in far flung places who were praying for us. Church isn't just a habit for Sunday morning or something to do if we feel like it. For us, being a part of this body is essential to our well being as Christians, as a couple, and as a family. I have also been challenged to question how we can serve better in the church where we are planted.
5. It's not all about us
Sure, we were going through a difficult time. Yet there were so many others who had bigger and harder struggles. We never missed a paycheck, but we know people who have been missing paychecks for months. We were healthy. We never really worried that we would not have a roof over our heads or food on our table. Even in our need we were more blessed than most of the rest of the world. There is a lot of need in the world. We don't get to ignore it just because we are temporarily struggling (and not even struggling that much).
It is a bit uncomfortable to think of God as a Father who is guiding us a certain way not only to bless us but also to teach and maybe even discipline us. It is even more uncomfortable to think of myself as a willful, rebellious, stubborn child. I am even more in awe of the grace that is poured out on me. It is my prayer that as I fix my eyes on my Savior my heart will be changed into one that is willing to be guided, taught and even disciplined by my Heavenly Father for His glory.
1. Trust/Dependence/Prayer
During the past few months I have spent more time in prayer and reading the Bible. I found myself praying almost unceasingly during the day. When panic would start rising I would ask God for peace. When I started getting irritated and angry with the boys because I was worried I would ask God for patience. When my comfort and security were gone I recognized that I needed God in very real and immediate ways. Seeing God answer my pleading daily prayers as well as our larger over-arching prayer has built my faith in remarkable ways.
2. Financial Stewardship
All our money belongs to God. All of it. Not just our 10% tithe, or the extra we give comfortably out of our surplus. Every single cent that we have has been given to us by God to use for His glory. I struggle so much in this area! But I have become convicted that even though our spending habits were not extravagant they were selfish. I tremble to write this but I feel God teaching us to give sacrificially. Yet, like a child I want to scream "mine!" and throw a temper tantrum.
3. Marriage
Our marriage has grown in new ways. We have had to keep learning how to communicate lovingly and effectively. We have had to learn how to give each other space for new thoughts and deep emotion. I have learned so much in just a few short months about what it means for me to be a supportive wife to Aaron; emotionally, physically, spiritually. I hope those lessons will stick with me as we head into this new job and a busy fall season.
4. Community
I have no words to describe how uplifted and encouraged I have felt by the people around us. This process would have been much more difficult without the support we felt from our church family as well as our friends and family in far flung places who were praying for us. Church isn't just a habit for Sunday morning or something to do if we feel like it. For us, being a part of this body is essential to our well being as Christians, as a couple, and as a family. I have also been challenged to question how we can serve better in the church where we are planted.
5. It's not all about us
Sure, we were going through a difficult time. Yet there were so many others who had bigger and harder struggles. We never missed a paycheck, but we know people who have been missing paychecks for months. We were healthy. We never really worried that we would not have a roof over our heads or food on our table. Even in our need we were more blessed than most of the rest of the world. There is a lot of need in the world. We don't get to ignore it just because we are temporarily struggling (and not even struggling that much).
It is a bit uncomfortable to think of God as a Father who is guiding us a certain way not only to bless us but also to teach and maybe even discipline us. It is even more uncomfortable to think of myself as a willful, rebellious, stubborn child. I am even more in awe of the grace that is poured out on me. It is my prayer that as I fix my eyes on my Savior my heart will be changed into one that is willing to be guided, taught and even disciplined by my Heavenly Father for His glory.
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