Valentine

...I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go. - Song of Songs 3:4

More snow

What a winter!
This is the 2nd significant snowfall here in 2 weeks. And this being north Georgia we normally see so little snow that any accumulation of snow brings wonder.

New perspective

There are two things about myself that I can admit. First, I can easily become a legalistic Christian. I constantly fight the tendency to turn faith into rule keeping and to be judgmental of myself and others when the rules aren't kept as well as I think they should be. Second, I care way too much about what other people think of me. I used to try and be all "zen" and say that I didn't care. But the truth is that I do. I constantly fight basing my self worth and the decisions I make off of what others will think.

You can imagine that these two character traits don't always make for good parenting moments.

One of the things I have to do is constantly evaluate my discipline and rule setting. I always have to ask myself the questions, "Am I disciplining this behavior because I am worried about what others will think? Am I being legalistic in my manner of discipline?"

Whether it is because they are boys, or just their personality my boys are pretty energetic. They can be really loud. They like to run and sing and make messes. Jeremiah's brain is always working and so he is always questioning and always has ideas, compromises, discussions. We try to give them the freedom to be themselves while at the same time setting boundaries for how to behave in public places.

One day someone saw me struggling a bit with Jeremiah. He was doing something fun that he didn't want to stop. He wasn't being disrespectful or disobedient but he was jumping around and talking really loudly as we gathered up his coat and shoes. I had to ask him more than once to come over to me and put on his things. This well meaning person looked at me and asked, "Can't you just get him to do what you want him to do?"

That one sentence, and the way I felt when it was uttered to me about my son, defines the way I feel about most Christian parenting books. It seems like most of the Christian parenting books I have read are telling me, "If you are a Christian parent, and disciplining in way xy or z, your children should end up being good and well behaved (read "quiet and controlled)." It seemed to me that most Christian parenting books were trying to get me to break my kids (strong)will and prove myself as the ultimate authority - starting from infancy (sleep habits) to adolescence (clothing). They seemed to be all about control.

I was never comfortable with this approach. It never seemed to feel right to me. Many methods of discipline that I tried from Christian parenting books set me up in horrible power struggles with Jeremiah which I felt were ultimately hurting our relationship. Not to mention the fact that I felt that since God had created Jeremiah He was the one who had gifted him with his intelligence, energy, and even his strong will. Who was I to try and crush that?

This is why the book Families Where Grace Is In Place by Jeff VanVonderen has been such a breath of fresh air. He talks about grace-filled families being a place where children are enjoyed for who they are, discipline is not punishment but teaching, and where being real is more important than how things look.

You can't imagine how freed I felt when I read this last night,

Then there is what is called a strong-willed child. Children are usually slapped with this label because they are stubborn about doing their jobs. [He had just been outlining what behavior is normal for certain developmental ages.] ...a strong-willed child is simply a four-year-old who has figured out what most kids don't figure out until they are in their teens. That is, "Mom and Dad, you can't control me as much as you thought you could." (Can we say, "Jeremiah"?)

Jesi is this type of person in our family. She wants to know "why?" She pushes, questions, tests, and pushes some more. In fact, Jesi wants to take control of things. Trying to control her most often ends in an ugly power struggle. Sometimes it's actually a good strategy to give her control, and less tiring as well. (Again, Jeremiah described.)

He then describes and incident in which instead of simply trying to control Jesi's behavior she is given choices in which she is in control of the outcome and consequences.

There are some who wish we would fix Jesi and make her be more compliant. Jesi isn't bad or in need of fixing, she's just tenacious. Our job is not to control her and turn her into a more pliable person. Our job is to create and environment in which Jesi can be the best, tenacious, strong-willed person Jesus ever had working for Him!

I wanted to jump up and sing "hallelujah!" I know it sounds silly, but to see this written down in a Christian parenting book has totally freed me. I feel judgment and legalism slipping from my shoulders. I feel like I have been given permission to continue parenting our children in the way that we have chosen. The way that we feel the Spirit is leading us.

Today in the grocery store Jeremiah was talking a mile a minute at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS and running enthusiastically down the aisle to find the next thing I needed on the list and asking to ride like an airplane on the bottom of the cart and insisting on an buying flowers for his grand mommy and crying when he was told he couldn't get chocolate. I was starting to get "the look" from some of the elderly patrons of the store. But I chose to ignore the looks. Because he was not being rude, or disrespectful, or disobedient. He was being a bright, tenacious, inquisitive, energetic four-year-old. I personally can't wait to see how God uses Jeremiah's intelligence and strong-will to glorify Him.

1000 Gifts (9)

- sunshine, bright and brilliant
- hearing new, distinct bird calls (can spring really be coming soon?)
- Amazon box waiting in the car port, new books to dive into
- waking early enough to be dressed and ready before the boys wake
- having the house full of ladies and their kids for the morning; chatting, playing, and general fun chaos
- being encouraged to pray specifically and with faith
- a friend expecting a baby!
- reading the Bible to Jeremiah while he is snuggled next to me in the early morning hours
- listening to Jeremiah sing "My soul thirsts for the living God" as he colors (may it be true!)
- a clean bathroom
- watching the boys revel in wild play with each other
- feeling God's presence this week granting me patience and helping me curb my tongue
- a call from a cousin, just to chat
- watching the boys enjoy having people in our home
- Nathaniel's excitement, "We at Ms. Linda's house. I so EXCITED!"
- being brought to my feet in worship, standing next to my husband, arms lifted high and knowing:
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not falter I will not faint
He is my shepherd I am not afraid
The joy of the Lord is my strength

The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord is my strength

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
He will uphold me all of my days
I am surrounded by mercy and grace
And the joy of the Lord is my strength

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not waiver walking by faith
He will be strong to deliver me safe
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
(Twila Paris)

I am counting my gifts with the gratitude community. In my journal I am up to 205 (!) and I choose to share some here.

I was supposed to be working out. Instead, I spent this rainy afternoon in front of the computer, tears running down my cheeks as I jumped from blog to blog reading adoption stories. I started reading a blog about a family trying to get their son home from Haiti. Then I clicked a few links and was reading a family's story about adopting some children from Uganda. Then I was captivated by a family who adopted children with severe emotional disorders from the state foster care system.

I was weeping quietly.

Because my heart yearns. Conviction pulls at my consciousness.

I stumbled into the world of child social services by "accident." I was out of college and needed a job to pay the bills. The state Department of Family and Children's Services (DFCS) is always hiring. Working for DFCS is intense. I moved from crisis to crisis, making split-second important decisions that would impact the lives of children forever, learning as I went and becoming an "expert" by experience.

I was often overcome with anger when I couldn't find homes for children. I would sit in my car sobbing as I drove away after dropping off another sweet child who just needed some one-on-one attention and love in a home that was already teeming with children who needed the same thing. Every time I had to drive a teenager to a group home hours away from everything they knew I seethed inside.

I hated hearing the stereotypes of kids in the state system. I hated hearing the excuses of people as to why they couldn't possibly consider taking a child into their home. I hated sitting in church, looking around me at the body of Christ, and not seeing a single foster or adopted child in our midst. Why was it that the best foster and adoptive parents I knew were non-religious (and even gasp! homosexuals)? Shouldn't we as Christians, loved by God despite our sin, know more about unconditional love?

During the years that I worked for DFCS and helped direct a private foster care and adoption agency my heart yearned to be on the other side of the picture. I held children in my arms and in my heart that I wanted to keep but had to hand to someone else.

It breaks my heart to think that there are about 147 million orphans in the world. Children of all ages and colors, with different circumstances and needs, but ultimately with no-one to love them or care for them. Here I sit in my 1,800 square foot house, with 2 perfect kids, and a comfortable safe life.

I just can't help feeling the calling growing in my heart. That just maybe, even though I am not the best or most natural of mothers, God can use me. Maybe, even though the road may be long and emotionally trying and full of unknowns, God can use me.

We are considering fostering children in our state DFCS system. We know their needs. We know these children are in our community. We know and have compassion for the situations of many of the birth families. Could it be that our life experiences have perfectly equipped us for this?

And yet, even though I can barely write this through the tears in my eyes and the emotion in my heart, I admit I am afraid. To take this step will shake up our lives in ways we can and can't imagine.

I am afraid of failing.

I guess it comes down to faith. Do I believe God's word is true? Do I believe that if He calls us to this He will also give us the strength we need? Do I believe that obeying Him is more important than my comfort?

I don't know if, when, or how this will unfold. I ask humbly for your prayers.

What I'm Reading

This is my current reading pile. I am slowly working through a combination of novels and practical parenting books. Here's my run down in case you are looking for something good to read.

The Jesus Storybook Bible
We have just started this storybook Bible for our family devotion time after dinner. There is a lot about it that I really like and I do recommend it. I will save my complete run-down for a separate post though because I think it deserves it.

The Princes of Ireland, by Edward Rutherford
I like historical novels if they are done well. I accidentally stumbled on this author when I saw this book in the sale bin at our Goodwill for 39cents. I picked it up because there was a recommendation on it from Maeve Binchy who is an author that I really love. This guy's historical fiction is really in depth and detailed while still remaining entertaining. He also doesn't see the need for over-sexualizing things which is something that I run across often in other historical fiction. I picked up his book Russka from the library but haven't gotten a chance to start it yet.

Songs of the Humpback Whale, by Jodi Picoult
I admit that I haven't actually started reading this yet. That is because I know when I pick up a book by Jodi Picoult I will forget everything else and stay up all night to finish it. Her books are that interesting and compelling. I think this is the only book of hers that I haven't read yet. Even though her books are fiction I always find myself chewing over moral, spiritual, and societal issues after I put them down. Read her!

Steady Days, by Jamie C. Martin
Jamie has a blog that I have been reading for quite a while now. Her purpose is to be a professional, intentional parent to her children and to encourage other mothers to do the same. I really relate to her practical ideas as well as her general world view. This book doesn't have any new and earth shattering information for me but is more of a confirmation of things that I have learned and implemented as I tried to figure out this whole parenting thing. I like that the book is practical, broken up into short chapters, and nonjudgmental. I think this is a book that I will include as a baby shower gift for new mothers.

Families Where Grace is in Place, by Jeff van Vonderen
I remember seeing this book on our bookshelf when I was a kid as well as on the bookshelves of families we visited. It has been sitting on my bookshelf for a while and I haven't picked it up until recently because I was being judgmental. I figured that it would be a pretty black and white, preachy, Focus on the Family type book and I just didn't want to go there right now.
I was wrong!
This book is completely changing my attitude toward being a wife and mother. There is so much to say about this that I will have to make a separate post. But let me just briefly say that I would give this book and Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel to all new couples & parents as the best "manuals" - because they aren't really manuals at all but an encouragement to let grace influence all we do.

Free Range Kids, by Lenore Skenazy
I have so far only thumbed through this book but I can't wait to dig into it more. It is funny and easy to read and yet really challenges many of the societal norms that we have in America for how we raise our kids. How much influence does media hype, fear, or even information from "experts" have over how we raise our kids and how much freedom we give and encourage them to have. Very, very interesting.

So that's what I am reading right now. I'm sure once I work through this pile I will be looking for more. Suggestions are always welcome!

Writing

It has been challenging for me to find "workbooks" that Jeremiah enjoys doing. I knew that I wanted him to work on his hand writing this year but I wasn't sure how to make that happen. Most of the workbooks that have printing practice are pretty simplistic with just single letters over and over again. That is boring for Jeremiah. He would half halfheartedly copy a few letters and then announce that he was ready for something else.

One day the problem solved itself. After reading our morning Psalm Jeremiah announced that he wanted to look at the Psalm and write down the words that he wanted to know the meaning of. His plan was that when papa got home in the evening they would get out the dictionary and look at the words together. And that has in fact been his almost daily ritual. While I clean up the kitchen after breakfast he sits at the table with the Bible open and copies out the words he wants to know on a 3x5 card (we are loving those things around here!). Some days it is just 1 or 2 words some days it is much more.

I realized the other day that this is the beauty of homeschooling. If he was in a traditional classroom Jeremiah would probably be very bored doing robotic copying on worksheets. Here at home we have the freedom for him to work at his own pace on things that keep his interest. Jeremiah loves words, their sound, rhyming, and meaning. He has a very extensive and advanced vocabulary simply because he loves words.

I am learning to let Jeremiah lead me in his educational experience. I think it's pretty cool that he is learning to practice his handwriting by reading the Bible. Seems like a pretty good educational experience to me.

Multitude Monday confession

Confession:

I did not write down a single blessing last week. I started to feel guilty. But then I stopped. Because I am enough of a recovering Pharisee to know that the surest way for me to spoil something good is to turn it into a chore, something I have to check off of my to-do list. I'm pretty sure that is not what Multitude Monday's is about.
Last week was a hard week in many ways.
It was also a good week in many ways. I saw a lot of my sin, but I also felt deep grace.
As I was downloading pictures from my camera I realized that there was so much goodness in the midst of the challenges. Which is of course what counting my gifts is supposed to be about. So, while they are not numbered in my journal, here are some of the good gifts of last week.

Snow: Lots of it.

Icecream sundaes: A special Friday night treat

Cozy candle light in the living room.

A perfect way to spend a snowy evening,
curled up on the couch with a blanket and a good book.

Uncles who have birthdays and take time to wrestle.

Sweet little girl cousin (niece).

This man who shares my life, loves me unconditionally,
and looks pretty darn hot with a baby! :-)

Kids in the kitchen

Jeremiah reads the recipe and instructions.

Mashing the banana's

Nathaniel really just wanted to eat.

Working together. Two sweet boys on their tip-toes.

Stirring it all up.

Oooooh...watching it bake.

The finished product! Smile and say "banana bread!!"

Honestly, I don't like having my kids help me in the kitchen. I know that in order to be a good mom, etc. I am supposed to let them help in the kitchen. But I know the limits of my patience and they do not extended to having boys under my feet while I am cooking, making big messes that I have to clean up. But the origins of that are for another time.

Yesterday Jeremiah found a recipe for Big Bird's Banana Bread in a library book and he insisted that we make it. We actually had fun doing this. (I measured everything in advance and put it in little bowls like on a cooking show.) It was an easy, nutritious, and good. I am sure this will get made again.

(Yes I know, Jeremiah's hair has not been combed. And yes, he wears his pirate t-shirt almost every day.)

Big Bird's Banana Bread
3 peeled, ripe banana's
3/4 cup honey
1/4 cup melted butter
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1. Put peeled bananas in a bowl and mash with the back of a fork.
2. Add melted butter.
4. Add rest of ingredients and stir until mixed together.
5. Pour into oiled bread pan.
5. Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

Embarassing my past teenage self

I was not the kind of teenager who was secure in my own skin and content to be an individual. I was convinced that everyone was watching me and judging my every move. Maybe the fact that my childhood was so radically different from anyone I knew made me desperately want to be your average Gap clothed teenager who you couldn't pick out in a crowd.

So you can image that I hated shopping at thrift stores. I would get embarrassed and frustrated and just wish that we could go to the mall like everyone else. I would pick through the racks as quickly as I could, throw what I wanted into a bag and jet out of there before anyone I knew could see me. (Never mind that many of my friends shopped at thrift stores.)

Fast forward 20 years and now that I am in charge of my own household and finances I love shopping at thrift stores. As I learn to stretch Aaron's teaching salary I am constantly amazed at the name-brand, good quality things that I can find for a fraction of the price if I just take the time to look.

Yet, aside from all the practical reasons for shopping at thrift stores the main reason I enjoy it is the surprise factor. Sometimes I find little fun things that just make me happy and that I wouldn't normally buy (especially at retail price). What do you think my teenage self would have thought of my 33 year old self getting all excited and squealing with glee in the Goodwill when I saw this Dr. Seuss step stool for only $3.99?! I'm sure she would have rolled her eyes, shrugged her shoulders, and gone to the other end of the store - which is probably what my boys will do in a few years.

Asking for joy

Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full. - John 16:24

"Jesus wants me to be a happy, joyous disciple. He revealed the Good News of my redemption and the promise of eternal life to fill me with a joy which this world cannot give.
As he himself said: 'All this I tell you that my joy may be yours, and your joy may be complete.' (John 15:11)
Today, Jesus, I do come to 'ask' and 'receive' what you promised. In my prayer I ask that I may be filled with a deep, quiet, interior joy and become a channel of joy to everyone along the path I travel.
'Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it again. Rejoice!' (Phillipians 4:4)"
- from Follow Me: A Daily Guide to Scriptural Prayer by David E. Rosage

I will admit that my personality tends toward legalism. I turn grace into religion, a list of rules I can try to keep and a checklist of things that I need to do. My heart is never satisfied with this but sometimes it seems easier.

After a difficult day yesterday I woke with a sigh. My mind was already running through the things I wanted to do today. My heart was already dreading the sacrifices I knew I would have to make in order to parent my boys and love my husband. I knew that I was supposed to see blessings in all, to keep counting the gifts even in the midst of sickness and mess and weariness. But honestly, trying to dredge up joy just seemed like something else I had to do in order to be a good Christian.

Then I read the above devotional. I felt tears well behind my eyelids as this wonderful truth flooded my spirit. I can ask God for joy! He loves me so deeply His Son died to cover all my dirty sin, even the ugly sins I committed just yesterday evening. Then I start to smile and feel irrational joy start to quietly push aside my attitude of tired resignation because, oh joy!, I know the dark ugliness of my sin and I marvel at the depth of love to completely cover it.

And just like that showing love and grace to my family becomes a delight and joy for me, not because I have to do it but because I want them to experience the love and grace that I feel.

Love is not easy

Before I became a mother no one told me I would have days in which:

- My 2 year old has horrible diarrhea, continues to eat like normal, and then vomits up everything he ate that day in the middle of nap time.

- My best laid plans of cleaning and working out fall by the wayside so that I can keep up with said diapers and vomit.

- All I want is to take a shower and make myself presentable before my husband gets home but I don't want to leave said 2 year old alone (for obvious reasons).

- My 4 year old desperately needs some one-on-one attention and I (selfishly) just can't seem to summon the energy.

- I speak ungraciously ("just wait one minute!") to said 4 year old when he asks for my help on his spelling work sheet causing his eyes to well with tears and him to leave the room with bowed head and resulting in heart stabbing grief for me.

So today my lesson in learning to love involved gently caring for a sick child without complaining about the dirty messes I had to clean up and putting aside my wants in order to give another child what he needed. There is nothing in the famous love verses of 1 Corinthians 13 that promise that love is easy.

1000 Gifts (8)

Last week was quiet. We stayed home all week just hanging out. In the past I may have been bored or anxious for life to be more exciting. But taking a minute at the end of each day to count my gifts made my heart overflow with thankfulness for all the goodness and beauty there is in the daily, simple moments of this life.

- warm sun, being outside!
- Nathaniel's spontaneous, "I wuv u mama!"
- the boys enjoying the food I made
- a chat with mom
- exercise
- yoga class, a stretched invigorated body
- knowing that dinner tomorrow is being prepared by someone else
- an organized linen closet
- lego's
- Jeremiah's sweet and immediate desire to comfort his brother when he fell
- grace-filled encouragement from a wise woman
- an impromptu dinner with friends, practicing hospitality
- watching Jeremiah take joy in entertaining a younger child
- Aaron and the boys dancing crazy together
- the boys excitement for Sunday school to resume
- watching Nathaniel give out many hugs at church, he is full of love
- tears during worship

I am numbering my gifts in my private journal. I choose some to share here. In my journal I am up to 172.

Who is this for anyway?

I continue to struggle in the area of consistent, loving, heart oriented discipline of my children. Some days go really well and some days just unravel and I feel completely out of control and out of my depth.

"Outward behaviors are only the manifestation of the real problem, which lies in the heart."
- Ginger Plowman

I have been challenged to use the Bible more and more in the correction and training of the boys. I believe that God's Word is powerful and effective and will speak much better to the hearts of my children than my words will. And yet in the middle of a discipline situation my mind goes blank and I sputter out lectures and arguments.

This week I copied verses from Ginger Plowman's Wise Words for Moms onto 3x5 cards. Each category of verses is in a different color (disobedience is blue, whining is orange, selfishness is pink etc.) with the verse written on one side of the card and the category on the other. I then put all the cards in a bowl in the middle of dining room table. Now, when I need to step in and use discipline in a situation the verses are right at my fingertips. They keep me focused on the goal of discipline (the heart, not authoritarian control). I am also able to give Jeremiah the cards so he can sit and read and think about his behavior himself. We are also working on memorizing one verse per week.

I started this "project" with visions of productive discipline solutions and compassionate, well-behaved children. But you know what? The same Word that I am praying will speak the heart of my children is speaking to my heart. Verses like:

Honor one another above yourself. - Romans 12:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. - Galatians 4:29
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. - Proverbs 25:28

As I continue this journey of learning to discipline my children I find my own heart being disciplined and convicted. This parenting thing is turning out to be much more than I bargained for.

who needs tv?

I will admit that we have been using TV as a crutch the past month or so. Before Christmas the weather was so cold and there was so much to get done that the boys watched at least 1 (and most of the time 2) videos per day. While we were in Philadelphia they watched a few PBSkids shows every morning while Aaron and I got ready and cleaned up. When we got back I was so sick and tired (and it was so cold) that the boys watched many videos so that I could rest.

I am not against my kids watching TV. I think that there are times in life when TV has its place. However, I want to guard against it becoming a crutch for me and a given for the boys. So I knew that this week it was going to be time to cut back on the TV watching. And I will admit that I was a bit worried about that process. I prayed for extra grace, patience, and creativity.

God is so good in answering even the smallest and most selfish of prayers! The boys have not watched any movies since Friday and yet we have still managed to fill the days with things to do. The greatest blessing has been the warming temperatures. With their new found independence and creative play together the boys have been able to go out into the back yard and happily play without my constant supervision. They have been going on expeditions, finding dragons, feeding lions, hiding from wolves, and filling their treasure boxes. Who needs TV when there is all of that to do in our own back yard?

1000 Gifts (7)

- energy to tackle household chores and responsibilities again after 10 days of sick (Nathaniel sorts his toys into new storage bins.)

- friends for my boys (Eli's 3rd birthday!)

- friends of ours who love our kids
- worship, real and soul feeding back at the church we call home
- clean kitchen counters
- the kindness of the librarians to the boys
- realizing my life is here, in this small southern town, and it is good
- homemade granola
- a made bed
- skype
- making Lilly smile
- knowing Aaron is locking up the house and on his way to bed
- thinking
- a quiet moment on a rainy saturday afternoon to read, sip tea, and journal
- our morning Psalm, read together and giving us proper focus for our day.
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. - Psalm 32:1-2
- sermon reminding me of God's grace which is bigger than my big, big sin

I've been absent from this for a few weeks with holiday traveling and then all the sickness we have had. But I have been slowly continuing to count my gifts in my journal and I am up to 138! God is good.
I strongly encourage you to check out the link to Ann Voskamp's blog. Beautiful photography and timeless truths. You will be encouraged.

The irony

The irony is that on the morning when I feel my energy surge back, the weather warms, and I want to leave the house for the first time in 2 weeks, my little boys instead play together for 2 hours (!). They run around half clothed making up little games that only they know the rules to. I hear chattering. Jeremiah bosses Nathaniel because that is what big brothers do. Nathaniel, who is grateful to be given so much attention, goes along with all of Jeremiah's instructions. Matchbox cars are involved as are constructed potato heads and random zoo animals.
Even though I am itching to get out of this house I sit quietly and let them play. The tears well briefly in my eyes because the moment is beautiful. I am thankful for their growing bond - boys becoming brothers.

My goal for 2010

On new year's eve my mom asked us if we had any goals or resolutions for the coming year. I didn't answer because I always have so many goals floating around in my head it was hard to sort through them. Believe me, I am more than aware of my many shortcomings and areas that need improvement.

I know that I need to practically serve my husband better. I know that I need to be more disciplined about rising early and making the most of my days. I know that I need to be more involved and present with my children. I know that I need to stop yelling so much. I know that I need to serve others more. I know that I need to manage my finances better. I know that I need to exercise and loose weight. I know that I need to spend more time in communion with God.

Then I realized the other day that it all boils down to this:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - I Corinthians 13:4-6

This year I want to learn to love better.

If I have a clean and most beautifully decorated house but have not love...
If I have well behaved and intelligent children but have not love...
If I have a healthy, skinny body but have not love...
If I live debt free, have a full savings account, and give my extra money to the poor but have not love...
If I rise early, complete my daily tasks and accomplish much but have not love...

So that's it for me. Love.

I know that this is not really a measurable goal and that the practicalities of it will look different every day. I know too that it is a goal that will take a lifetime, not just one year.

People we love!

Back...sort of...

We did actually make it back from Philly. We drove last Saturday and actually made really good time. But since then I have been sick in bed with a horrible sinus infection, Jeremiah had bronchitis, and Nathaniel the remnants of allergy/infection stuff. Thankfully Aaron has been well and taking care of us.
I have many pictures to download and things to post, but I haven't even had the energy to change my clothes, so all that will have to wait.
We had a good time though. Despite various people being sick and not all things happening as planned it was good to be together. The boys got lots of love and attention. What a blessing it was to get to spend the holidays together!