Refreshing

Today was a refreshing and tiring day at the same time. Ever have one of those? You know, one of those days where you do something you really enjoy but it tires you out at the same time?

For some time now I have been praying that God would bring some "girl friends" into my life. I have really been yearning for other women my age, who live near me, who I can spend time with and develop deeper relationships with. (An ironic note: it is still hard for me to think of myself as a "woman", my tendency is to say "girls my age.")

In my own psychoanalysis of myself I have realized that all the moving and good-byes that I experienced through childhood and adolescence have left me with a sort of attachment issue. I don't really develop deep relationships with others because I expect to have to say goodbye to them, which is painful, therefor it is easier to have superficial relationships that don't cause pain when they end. I have come to realize that this is not healthy, and of course leaves me feeling lonely a lot of the time.

Add to that the fact that being cooped up in the house with no adult conversation drives me stir crazy much of the time. I decided a few weeks ago to take the bull by the horns and invite a few of the women in my church who also are stay at home moms and who have children around the same age as mine over to my house. My idea is to have a sort of informal group that meets regularly to just hang out, develop relationships, encourage each other, and let our kids get together and play.

So this morning my small living room was full with 3 other women and a total of 6 kids ranging in age from 7 weeks - 3 years. I had a blast! I loved just sitting around drinking coffee, chatting about all things trivial and deep, and watching our kids play. The other women all said that they want to get out of the house more often as well and so we are going to have regular get-togethers at my house.

I feel so encouraged and thankful. I have also learned that I need to step out of my comfort zone and make more effort if I want to have better friendships.

So that was the encouraging part.

The tired part comes from missing my nap because Nathaniel was so wound up from all the mornings excitement that it took me almost 2 hours to get him to go down for his nap. And then of course Jeremiah was up from his. Oh well, a little tiredness is a small price to pay for the joy of developing friendships.

Happy Birthday Mariana

Today is my sister's (in-law) birthday.

One of the disadvantages of being a member of a global, traveling family is that we don't get to see each other often. I didn't get to meet Mariana until my brother Will announced that he was bringing her to the Netherlands for Christmas. I realized at that point that he was serious about her and so Aaron and I made arrangements for me to go to the Netherlands that Christmas (2001) so that I could meet her. Since then we have only been able to see each other a handful of times. But each time we have been together it has been a special time of talking, laughing and bonding. I so so wish that we lived closer and could spend more time together.

Mariana is a truly beautiful person inside and out. I love her laugh, her generosity, her fun-loving spirit, her intelligence, and her desire to serve God.

Since Mariana loves to watch videos of Jeremiah I have posted this video of Jeremiah enthusiastically singing while swinging at the park. Enjoy Mariana! And Happy Birthday! We love you.

Happy Birthday Dad

A big Happy Birthday wish to my dad today.
Last week I sat down with Jeremiah and we colored a picture for Opa's birthday. I told Jeremiah that we wanted to send Opa something special so he knew we were thinking about him. All day long Jeremiah kept pointing to the door, "want and need opa." He thought Opa was coming to see us.
Of course my relationship with my dad has changed and evolved over the years. The exuberant idealization of childhood (my memories of running out of the boarding school door yelling "daddy daddy daddy!" and joyfully throwing myself into his arms). The support, encouragement and guidance I received as I entered and navigated adolescence. The ability to share thoughtful conversation and changing thoughts during young adulthood. The process of turning from him to my husband for my main support as a married woman. And now the joy of watching him enjoy my children (and my children enjoy him) in his new role as opa.
Through all the changes in life I have been able to rely on my dad for love, support, advice and encouragement. I am so thankful for him and am praying today that God will continue to bless him and give him the gift of many more years.

Good Memories

Aaron and I have been talking about enjoying the every day moments and special memories instead of always thinking ahead to the next "big event." So, in that vein I would like to share our good memories from today.

I got out Jeremiah's old seat for Nathaniel to sit in. He loves to sit in it and watch the world go by. By coincidence the toy cow plays "Old McDonald Had Farm" and Jeremiah gets a big kick out of it. Of course, now that he sees the chair again he thinks it belongs to him again and he just had to sit in it while Nathaniel was napping. In this bottom picture he is saying, "you silly", a phrase he hears a lot and has started to repeat. :-)
When Aaron got home from work he had a great idea - take our Tuesday night pizza to the park and enjoy the beautiful evening. So we did. Here are the good memories I have of our evening at the park. Sitting on a bench in the cooling autumn air nursing my youngest son and listening to his sweet grunts. Enjoying the sound of my oldest son laughing hysterically as my handsome husband pushed him on the swing. The light seeming golden as it filtered through the changing leaves. God is good and I am thankful for his gifts. $5.00 pizza night at Papa John's. YUM!
Mama & Nathaniel

Nathaniel loves being outside and had a great time looking around at the changing light and listening to all the new sounds.

Jeremiah prefers to climb up slides.
Mama with her two boys!

Nap Time

This is what I want to be doing right now....

Just Random Stuff

We finally got it! Ok - it looks abit funny but we finally got a picture of Nathaniel smiling. He has been smiling a lot the past few days, just not when we point the camera in his direction. Last night he was making eye contact with me when I was talking to him and all of the sudden he tipped up the left corner of his mouth in the cutest one-sided smile I have ever seen. It was a special moment. This morning he started smiling when the music started playing in church.
Jeremiah thinks that it is time to teach Nathaniel his ABC's utilizing his blocks. From the intent look on his face Nathaniel seems to be paying attention to his big brother. :-)

On Saturday I went to the neighborhood yard sale in Steve & Brenda's subdivision in the hopes of finding some winter clothes for Jeremiah (it turns out that the big bag of winter clothes that I thought I had in the attic in fact was a figment of my imagination...). I was unsuccessful in that quest but I found a portable dishwasher for $40. That's right! We now have a dishwasher! (It is the almond colored appliance up there.) I know it seems silly but the dishwasher has made my year! It felt like heaven yesterday to keep the dishes in the washer instead of on my counter, to load the dinner dishes straight up, to roll the washer over to the sink, let it run, and wake up in the morning to clean dishes! The other plus is that the top of the washer has a butcher block counter top so I have more space for preparing food. It feels like heaven. So our kitchen will definitely not be featured in Better Homes & Gardens with its strange assortment of mismatched appliances and improvised storage - but I don't care since I don't have to do all my dishes by hand anymore!!!

Looking around

I got a new cover for our "Boppy." I love the cute jungle animals. Seems silly I know, but I spend so much time using the pillow that it makes me happy to have cheerful covers on it. For those of you not as aware of baby products the Boppy pillow makes breastfeeding easier but as you can see it can also be used to help prop baby up a bit. Nathaniel loves to sit propped up and watch what is going on around him.

This morning Jeremiah was up at 5:30am. It's going to be a long day. I am so glad it is Friday. I love having Aaron home on the weekends!

Singing to Nathaniel

Yesterday morning Jeremiah and Nathaniel spent some time hanging out together. Jeremiah likes to sing Nathaniel songs. "Old McDonald Has A Farm" is the current favorite. In this video Jeremiah is doing the cow part. It is not the best video ever - but Jeremiah gets a little crazy now when I pull out the camera.

The other night when Aaron went to check out the stranded car it started right away. Frustrating because it will be hard to figure out what is wrong, and I don't want to drive it in case I get stranded again. So we will have to figure something out.

It is a cool, cloudy morning and we are hoping for some rain. It seems like today will be a good day to hang out here at home and relax (and catch up on laundry).

Cars

Cars are frustrating things.

We have never owned a brand new car for a number or reasons. First, we have never been able to afford it (don't want to go into debt, higher tax and insurance rates for brand new cars etc. etc.). Second, according to our accountant pastors wife it is unwise to buy a brand new car because they depreciate in value up to 30% the minute you drive them off the lot so even if we were in the market for something nicer and newer it would make more sense to get something pre-owned.

God has always been gracious and our cars have always run well despite their age (around 10 years old). It helps that Aaron and his dad are both good mechanics and know how to work on cars. In fact we have owned 2 Saturns that have been absolutely awesome and never needed any work other than the regular stuff that wears out. My first Saturn was my car when I worked for DFCS and I put more miles on it than I care to count and it ran like a top until the day a tree limb fell through the roof during a storm. I miss that car!

Anyway, one of our cars has had a weird thing over the past 9 months or so when every now and then it just won't start up. One day we were eating at Wendy's when it wouldn't start. We walked the few blocks home and when Aaron went back it started right back up. The other time this happened was in Aaron's parents driveway and after a few minutes it started right back up again. Aaron has tried to figure out the problem but has been unsuccessful.

Today I had to run to the post office for the 3rd time in 3 days (a long story involving trying to get Nathaniel's passport). The post office is just a few minutes away and all I had to do was drop off a check so I grabbed the kids, my wallet, and the check and headed out the door. Jeremiah disobeyed me the whole time we were in the post office and I was hot, tired, and frustrated by the time we got back in the car. I was looking forward to naptime! I turned the key in the ignition and of course the car made noise but would not start. Three very nice men stopped to see what was the problem. They all diagnosed it as something to do with gas not getting through (and of course assumed that since I was a girl I had run out of gas). There was nothing really they could do.

I was stranded with 2 boys, it was hot outside, and I didn't have my cell phone. I wanted to curse and cry at the same time.

At that moment my boss from the first job I had out of college walked out of the post office door. Seriously! I had not seen him in about 8 years! He was parked right next to me! He graciously let me load up the car seats and the boys into his car and gave us a ride home.

Aaron is now at the post office trying to figure out what is wrong with the car. Today is one of those days when I want to throw caution to the wind, drive down to the nearest car dealership and get a brand new vehicle.

The moral of this story:

Never, never leave the house without your cell phone when you have 2 kids and an old car.

play time

Our boys play on the floor together. Jeremiah thought it was hilarious!
Jeremiah "lufs No-fan-ul."
Sweet kiss.
Jeremiah "took" this picture.

Precious Moment

I still have not been successful in getting Nathaniel's smile on film but believe me he is a smiley little boy! I think he just has a very pleasant countenance. He always looks happy with life.

Yesterday morning Jeremiah came and gave Nathaniel a kiss on the forehead. Nathaniel broke out into a big smile! It was the sweetest thing and a memory I will hold in my heart forever.

Got the tickets!

This week I ordered our plane tickets for our trip to the Netherlands (NL) in December! And today we finished Nathaniel's passport application.

We have been looking forward to this trip for a long time. Well, since Ben & Ramona got engaged last August here in the States to be exact. Of course, at that time we were not planning on making the trip as a family of four. :-)

I will be flying over with the boys in early December and Aaron will join us 10 days later when his vacation starts. We will all fly back together in early January.

There are so many things to look forward to.

- Will & Mariana are going to be there! So all the Viss siblings will be together again for the first time since our visit in June 2005.

- Ben & Ramona's wedding! It's going to be an awesome party! We love those guys and are ready to celebrate their marriage with them. Plus, the Dutch know how to throw a wedding party, we plan on dancing into the wee hours of the morning.

- Introducing Nathaniel to his oma & opa and Viss aunts & uncles.

- Watching Jeremiah enjoy his oma & opa and Viss aunts & uncles. He is going to love getting lots of extra attention.

- Just spending time with mom & dad at their house.

- Good coffee, fresh food, delicious cheap wine & beer, cheese.

- Visiting and catching up with some of my high school friends.

Oh man. I am getting more excited thinking about it!

Of course, first we have to make it to December, then I have to figure out what to pack for 2 boys, then I have to survive the plane trip over there alone with 2 boys....

It will all be worth it though!

Of clothes and other things

You can see how Nathaniel is growing by how he starting to fill up the swing. He is also finally fitting into his clothes for 0-3 months! This is fun for me as I can now dress him in all the cute things that we bought and that people gave us. I love this little football looking outfit. It is also finally cooling down so I can dress him in more than just a onesie.

Jeremiah still fits in his pants from last winter. That is right. His little waist is so small and he hasn't gotten too tall that he still fits in the the 24 month size pants. Of course, he could have a growth spurt any day, but for now I am glad that we don't have to buy him new pants for the winter.

We are off to Target this morning with Aunt Cherise, Shanna and Baby Eli. Jeremiah is pumped and ready to go! Nathaniel is sound asleep. :-)

Look at that neck control!

In order to counter my previous post of today which was a negative rant I post these pictures of my littlest boy holding his head up for your enjoyment. He really is getting more alert and aware. Yesterday we caught him actually watching the moving birds and butterflies at the top of his swing. He likes to be held up so that he can hold his head back and look around. Yesterday evening (in these pictures) he was looking out the window at the contrast of the leaves on the trees against the bright sky. Today he looked over in Jeremiah's direction when Jeremiah started talking to him.

I am still trying to work out the 2 boys different schedules. Nathaniel is in that stage where it takes me longer to put him to sleep for naps (I guess that is the byproduct of being more alert), so I am working on juggling needing to focus on him at certain times and of course those are the times that Jeremiah decides he needs my attention too. I will say that night sleeping is going much better! Nathaniel is sleeping for about 4 hours at a time so after his 10pm feeding I usually wake at 2am and 6am to feed him. He is doing much better about going quickly back to sleep after nursing and I am even usually able to transfer him from our bed to his bassinet once he is really asleep. I know, I am supposed to work on him falling asleep in his bassinet by himself - but I will take what I can get! Right now sleep for me is a high priority.

This week God has given me the strength I need to wake early and spend time with him. Of course, ironically, Jeremiah has been waking when I do but I turn on his light, give him some books and he usually stays quietly in his room until I come and get him. I feel more refreshed and ready to face the day which is all God's grace because if it were up to me I would sleep an extra 45 minutes. :-)

Insurance

You had better believe that I am going to be evaluating the next presidential candidates health insurance proposals very carefully.

One, I am of the decidedly European belief that good health care is a right for all people, not just a select few. To me this is part of God's mandate to care for the needy and less fortunate.

Two, it seems crazy to me that a health care system is governed by profit. I mean all other public safety services (school, police, social services, fire fighters etc.) are not profit driven.

Anyway, I am warning you that the rest of this post is a total rant and I will not be the least bit offended if you don't read it. This rant today because I am dealing with stupid insurance stuff that is stressing me out (because of course it involves money).

Today I received about 5 different letters/statements from our insurance company - supposedly they contain the information about what is covered and not covered from the hospital stay and birth of Nathaniel. I thought that it should be pretty straightforward as I knew what our deductibles and out-of-pocket totals were supposed to be. I mean, we have already paid our total yearly out of pocket amount so why am I told to pay for the anesthesia?

But it is not straightforward.

Trying to understand these statements is like trying to decipher some kind of obscure code. It really makes no sense to me. And of course when I call the 800 number I get some person who is not really excited about trying to explain it clearly in "laymans terms", she uses a tone of voice that implies that I don't have a single working brain cell in my head, and so after 20 minutes of conversation I am almost more confused than I was before.

I feel like they are trying to make it difficult so that I will just give up and pay them whatever they say I should pay.

Oh, and here is the real kicker. I got a statement with charges from Jeremiah's immunizations in 2005! The statement says that I have to pay the pediatrician because the bill was not sent to the insurance company within the 12 months of service. What? It's been 2 years and I had never seen this bill and now I am suddenly supposed to know where it came from and to just go ahead and pay it. You have got to be kidding me!

This stuff makes me so mad because most of the time our family doesn't even meet it's yearly deductible and out of pocket expenses. We pay an arm and a leg for health insurance and because we are healthy we never use it. We go year after year quietly paying our premiums and not costing our insurance company anything in claims.

This year we have a baby and WHAMO! It's like the insurance company (because it is profit driven) does everything to milk every single penny they can out of us. Last month they sent me a bill that I had already paid. Did they think I wouldn't notice and would pay them again? It's so wrong!

This kind of stuff stresses me out!

Not of the world...

Our pastor Travis has started a new sermon series on the book of Daniel. It has been really amazing so far. The beginning of the book is telling us about how Daniel and his friends are now in Babylon and expected to be part of Babylonian culture. Travis has been teaching about how they were able to be part part of the culture (in the kings court, get a Babylonian education etc.) yet because of their knowledge of God's Word and their desire to serve Him were still able be set apart.

I share my notes from yesterday hoping they will challenge you as they have challenged me.

Daniel 1:17-21

Daniel and his friends were able to remain in but separate from the Babylonian culture. This is very difficult for the current church (especially as Americans).

Our culture tells us that there is no absolute right and wrong.

Our culture tells us that success is more important than godliness.

We are tied to consuming over giving. Our culture creates dissatisfaction in us (advertising, showing us celebrities, telling us to compare ourselves to others) so that we constantly want more than what we have.

So:

How are we to live (action - not just words) trusting the Spirit (like Daniel & friends)?

1. Be people of prayer

When we pray we remind ourselves that we are not adequate and we have to trust someone outside of ourselves. We pray because we need. Lack of prayer in your life is usually a sign of self-reliance.

2. Spend time in the Word

Studying the Word shows us a world that we usually cannot see.

Earthly wisdom will fade away.

Knowledge of God's Word enabled Daniel to discern truth & lies in Babylonian teaching - therefore he was not influenced or swayed by the lies.

3. Practice obedience against earthly wisdom.

This means actually doing the things the Bible commands you to do that the world thinks are crazy (keeping the sabbath, tithing, befriending the weak & powerless, showing kindness, praying for our enemies).

Obedience to the Spirit sometimes goes against common sense (for instance God may be leading you in specific ways not just general ones - to go to the mission field, to give sacrificially, to befriend someone who is weak/powerless, etc.). What is the Spirit leading you to do?

Side note: Usually we do not want to reduce our standard of living enough to have the time and resources to do the work of the kingdom that the Spirit is leading us to do.

Trusting in the Spirits power means trusting the Spirit to give you the power to live the life God wants you to live NOT for living the life you want to live.

Gal. 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Happy Birthday!

Today my honey turns 28 years old!
I know, I know, he is still a baby. :-)
I have known Aaron for a long time now and of course my life has been blessed because he is in it. I remember when I first realized that I was starting to "like" Aaron as more than a friend one of the things I admired about him was that he never just talked to be talking-when he spoke what he had to say was either funny or wise. Aaron is trustworthy, compassionate, patient, gentle, intelligent, never afraid to be unique, and a true servant.
Happy birthday baby! Here's to many many more exciting years ahead.

Bug going around

I woke up this morning feeling much better and thankful that no one else in the family seemed to have caught what I had.

Jeremiah woke early from his nap crying. I was a bit frustrated because it is a nice cool rainy day and since he woke up early this morning I was hoping he would take a longer nap than usual. I made him come and lay in bed with me. He kept whining and fussing. In my tired and sinful state as a mother I kept telling him firmly to stop whining and use his words. I got up to change Nathaniel, lecturing Jeremiah about using his words, when I hear a gurgling and splashing from the other side of the room.

Yep.

Jeremiah was regurgitating everything he had eaten today.

I felt horrible for being so abrupt with him.

So he has been cleaned up and is cozy in his pj's watching Baby Einstein on the couch. I am keeping a close watch for any further episodes.

I really really hope Nathaniel and Aaron don't get this. Aaron is supposed to go motorcycle riding with friends tomorrow for his birthday.

The good news is the bug doesn't last long.

Humbled

Note: I made a post yesterday about Nathaniel being 1 month old. Scroll down past Aaron's post for pics!

Just the other day I was feeling quite proud of my accomplishments as a wife and mother. The house was finally getting clean, I was preparing weekly meal plans and doing the grocery shopping, I was entertaining Jeremiah without resorting to TV. I felt like I really had it all together.

Then yesterday - BAM! I got some kind of really nasty stomach bug that totally wiped me out. I waited miserably until Aaron got home (while Jeremiah watched all his Veggie Tales videos) and then happily turned over all my duties (except nursing) and went to bed. Aaron got a substitute teacher to take over for him today and has stayed home.

This morning as I was lying in bed and feeling frustrated I realized that I put so much emphasis on my worth based on what I do. If things are going well I credit myself for my accomplishments and feel good about myself. When things are not going well I feel bad about myself and the things I should be doing. So this morning I prayed and asked God to help me see my worth and dependence on Him despite my physical situation or surroundings.

So I am headed back to bed to rest again (without feeling guilty) before Aaron has to go to his class.

I am a Patriot

In my 7th grade class we are about to start an essay contest. The contest is sponsored by the VFW & there are 45 winners with the top winner receiving a $10,000 savings bond.
The title of the essay is, "Why I am an American Patriot."
So I found this video & I am trying to figure out to show it to my class because the county school system has youtube blocked from it's computers so I am just using the blog for my own personal gain.. oh that's kinda what a blog is anyway.
It's a great video.. there are several other versions of this song - two others performed by e. Vedder, one of which has some harsh language that is inappropriate for the kids ears.




Sarah is also sick.. so I am staying home tomorrow.. today by the time you read this. Hopefully a day of rest will help get her back on her feet.