Luke 6:45
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26
Easier said than done!
These past few months of mothering have been challenging. Jeremiah's active brain is always in search of something to keep it occupied while Nathaniel's active body is always in search of something new to explore and discover (read destroy). As the boys start to play together I have started to navigate the challenging waters of dealing with sibling interaction. I feel like a broken record, "Be loving!" "Don't hit!" "Don't push!" "We don't jump on furniture!" "Forks at meal time are not for banging, throwing or hitting!" "Please share your toys."
These past few months of mothering have been challenging. Jeremiah's active brain is always in search of something to keep it occupied while Nathaniel's active body is always in search of something new to explore and discover (read destroy). As the boys start to play together I have started to navigate the challenging waters of dealing with sibling interaction. I feel like a broken record, "Be loving!" "Don't hit!" "Don't push!" "We don't jump on furniture!" "Forks at meal time are not for banging, throwing or hitting!" "Please share your toys."
I grew up knowing all about the theology of original sin but to see the depths of sin and selfishness in the heart of my sweet 4 year old takes my breath away! We have entered a stage of aggressive behavior, disrespectful talk, screaming and yelling, door slamming, not to mention passive aggressive disobedience. I literally can't count the number of times that I have felt completely inadequate with this responsibility of raising Godly men.
But here is the real kicker - the behavior I see in my 4 year old is a direct reflection of the behavior he sees in me!
Ouch.
Believe me I have been scouring parenting books looking for the right formula and answers. There is so much advice and opinion out there that it boggles the brain. But a few days ago as I was praying (and crying) I realized that I have to acknowledge (and control) my own sinful, angry and selfish behavior as the first step to helping my children acknowledge and control theirs.
Duh.
What a difficult and humbling process it is. I fall every day (sometimes every minute) at Jesus' feet and beg for strength, for insight, for discipline, for selflessness. There are practical steps as well as emotional steps to take. Like waking early enough to be ready for the day before the boys are up. Making myself go to bed at a decent hour so that I get enough sleep. Controlling my tongue when I want to speak in anger or complain. Carving out time to read the Bible for the encouragement and wisdom it offers. Being disciplined about completing household chores at certain times. Getting away from the computer to focus my concentration on the boys. Those are just a few things I am working on.
But really, this is all a process of letting go of me. If my heart is selfish and my desire is to please myself then my mouth will speak anger, bitterness, and complain. If my heart's desire is to serve God by serving my family then my mouth and my actions will reflect that. And I suspect that if my kids see Christ's love in me then they will learn to reflect that love in their own little lives.
But here is the real kicker - the behavior I see in my 4 year old is a direct reflection of the behavior he sees in me!
Ouch.
Believe me I have been scouring parenting books looking for the right formula and answers. There is so much advice and opinion out there that it boggles the brain. But a few days ago as I was praying (and crying) I realized that I have to acknowledge (and control) my own sinful, angry and selfish behavior as the first step to helping my children acknowledge and control theirs.
Duh.
What a difficult and humbling process it is. I fall every day (sometimes every minute) at Jesus' feet and beg for strength, for insight, for discipline, for selflessness. There are practical steps as well as emotional steps to take. Like waking early enough to be ready for the day before the boys are up. Making myself go to bed at a decent hour so that I get enough sleep. Controlling my tongue when I want to speak in anger or complain. Carving out time to read the Bible for the encouragement and wisdom it offers. Being disciplined about completing household chores at certain times. Getting away from the computer to focus my concentration on the boys. Those are just a few things I am working on.
But really, this is all a process of letting go of me. If my heart is selfish and my desire is to please myself then my mouth will speak anger, bitterness, and complain. If my heart's desire is to serve God by serving my family then my mouth and my actions will reflect that. And I suspect that if my kids see Christ's love in me then they will learn to reflect that love in their own little lives.
1 comment:
i think one of the coolest things that we can do for our children is acknowledge that we sin and model the correct way to deal with our sin. i often have to apologize to my kids for something that i say, but i've heard that this will reach their hearts a lot of times better than me preaching at them but not modeling it. (i hope that is an encouragement for you as opposed to a discouragement! i can see in their little faces that they understand what momma is doing when she says she messed up and needs to control herself next time. it really does seem to make an impact on them!)
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