1000 Gifts (30)

- changing leaves
- boys playing
- old friends
- petting goats & llama's & a hedgehog & chinchilla's
- an old tractor
- crisp autumn sky, spread blue and clear
- peanut butter & jelly sandwiches eaten at a picnic table
- being able to be flexible with our school schedule in order to do fun things with friends

10 Years!

10 things I am learning in our 10 years of marriage:

1. Marriage is harder than I thought it would be.

2. Marriage is easier than I thought it would be.

3. Marriage has been like a mirror to show me the depths of my sin and selfishness, but also the immense grace given in my salvation.

4. We communicate and show love differently, and that is ok.

5. Life may bring changes and challenges but I know that we are a team and we will face everything together.

6. Sometimes humor is the best way to move on from a disagreement.

8. Forgiveness is always a choice.

9. Love is always a choice.

10. Always assume the best.

What a 10 years it has been! I am blessed to have this man beside me as my partner in life.

the couch

We finally said good-bye to our 12 year old (at least), garage sale purchased couch! It will seem strange to say that this was a long, spiritual process for me but it was. I finally let go of the guilt I was feeling for using so much money for what seemed such an indulgent, unnecessary purchase.
Most couples will spend their 10th anniversary celebration weekend on some kind of romantic get away. We spent part of our weekend at IKEA. Happily meandering through the displays, sitting on couches, imagining our home and how we want it to be a welcoming, comfortable, inspiring, healing place. We made our decision, made the final purchase (while I tried not to hyperventilate), and strategically packed the large boxes into the van. We drove home drinking Dr. Pepper and eating junk food, listening to college football on the radio and talking about all kinds of things. We worked most of the evening assembling the couch and re-arranging the living room. Finally, we snuggled on our new couch and watched a movie.
I struggled long and hard over spending money on a new couch. But now that it is here and we are enjoying it I am so thankful! It is comfortable, has more seating room, and hopefully makes our living room inviting to other people. We truly want our home to be a place where people feel welcome and comfortable. Is it sacrilegious to hope that our purchase and use of a couch will honor and glorify God?
Now I really have no excuses for putting off picking out a paint color and finally painting......

(Note for those interested in these kinds of details: We originally wanted this couch with a sleek, bluish-grey cover but it was out of stock. So we went with white. But, it is a machine washable slip-cover and I have been reading in decorating magazines that white, washable slip covers are actually great if you have kids because you can easily wash them and keep them clean. We shall see. Worst case scenario is that we have to buy a new slip-cover from IKEA every few years. Anyway, I actually like the white. I think it balances out the darkness of the rug and keeps the room fresh and modern.)

1000 Gifts (29)

We have been very busy lately. It doesn't feel like a hectic, hurried busy. All the things we have been doing are good, serving, and even soul feeding. Yet, there have been moments in which I have felt a bit overwhelmed with the simple maintenance of our home. Last night after small group Jeremiah threw up again, after we thought that the worst of the stomach bug had passed, and I realized that we really and truly need to slow down.

When I sat down to blog today I realized that even though I have been consistent the past few weeks in waking early to spend time with God, I have not been taking the time to count the gifts. So, I started right away:

643. Jeremiah feeling extra snuggly, a bit unusual for this growing 5 year old who is getting too big for my lap

644. Nathaniel's grateful, enthusiastic, generous, forgiving heart

645. my husband who gets up at 4am to deal with throw-up so that I can sleep

646. fall sunshine through the dining room window

647. the first batch of pumpkin muffins!

648. spending the day in my comfiest sweat pants

649. friends who call to check on me

650. plump pumpkins on the front step

651. nights that are cold enough to warrant the thick winter comforter on our bed

652. the way the goldening light announces that fall is finally here

653. answered prayer

Slowing down

We had a lot of things planned for this Saturday. We were going to clean, and go to a birthday party, and try to hit the sale at the Goodwill, and have dinner with friends. Instead, both boys are snuggled in bed listening to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe on CD because they have a stomach bug.
Aaron was up with Nathaniel last night and I have spent the morning with household cleaner and paper towels in my hands, cleaning up and holding bowls and running the washing machine.
Even though nothing much this week has gone as I have planned I still feel peaceful and content. I am tired after struggling with insomnia for most of the week. While I am sorry that my boys aren't feeling well, I am thankful for a day to slow down, snuggle together, and just be quietly here.

Parenting Lessons

This is what I have learned about parenting this week:
* Always throw your camera in your bag!
Jeremiah played goalie at his soccer game on Tuesday night and he was rocking! I was so mad that I didn't have my camera to capture him posed with bended knees intently following the game, getting down to make a save, and throwing in with all his might.

* When you get impatient with your boy's behavior use this phrase instead of berating him.
"You are a boy of character and integrity. Please let your actions reflect that."
Seriously, I think this has been the most practical and revolutionary piece of parenting advice that I have ever run across. I am impatient and a yell-er. Having this little sentence has changed the way I respond to the boy's behavior. (If you are interested check out The Mother of Boys Society for other great stuff.)

* If your day is going bad pack up everything and head to the park.
I was in a funk this morning and my tone and actions toward my children were less than loving and patient. I finally got so sick of myself that I shoo-ed the boys into the van and headed to the playground. It was still pretty warm for this time of year, but I was able to sit in the shade, enjoy a cool breeze, read my Bible and pray while the boys played. My attitude changed and our day is going better.

1000 Gifts (29) - Community

I had this in depth post about community that I was crafting, but it just didn't flow right. And as I (finally) sit down after a long day I find my brain too fuzzy to really polish it up. So, suffice it to say that this Monday I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this feeling of being part of a community.... We had a week and weekend full of moments that just solidified our feeling of being right where God wants us to be; serving, working, enjoying, and developing relationships.

A few years ago when we were thinking about moving, Aaron and I really desired to feel more a part of a community. We wanted to know people well, to share our lives with others, to feel part of the place in which we lived. As we started to scope out other places to live we realized that the reason that we didn't feel like we were part of a community is because we were not intentionally fostering community. We were holed up in our house, busy with our lives, and expecting community to come find us. Duh....

So we decided to stay in our small town and be more intentional about creating community. Slowly that is what we have been doing. This weekend it hit me; we truly are part of a community now.

I feel so blessed to truly feel that we are part of a community here now. I grew up moving a lot and felt fairly root-less. I can feel our roots growing deeper here.

- a meeting of the local Library expansion committee, me being asked to serve after I was praying that I could find ways to do things that interested me and served the community

- seeing in very concrete ways how serving God with others develops real and honest relationships

- a house full of people

- 7 kids, playing in the yard until 10 p.m. running, shrieking, building, chasing fireflies, covered in dirt

- adult conversation on the deck, new relationships formed and old relationships deepened

- parenting talk on the side lines of the soccer field while the older kids play the game and the younger kids just play

- lunch at Chick-fil-A with other soccer families, laughter

- new friends

- roots developing

Field Trip

I just realized that we are currently finishing up week 5 of school! Wow.
We are still figuring out what works for us. But in general I feel like we are finding a rhythm and finding doing a bit of school work pretty much every day a normal part of our routine.
This week we went on Jeremiah's first field trip sponsored by GCA. It was at Red Top Mountain, a state park about 1 hour south of us. It was a beautiful day with hints of fall in the air. The GCA staff had planned activities but Jeremiah was most interested in the snake's and just walking the trail. He listened to the snake presentation 3 times, but refused to touch the snakes.

He got to meet his teacher, Mrs. Honaker, but wasn't interested in talking for long because he was more interested in leading us on a hike through the woods. I was hoping to get to meet more of the parents from our area, but all the activities were so spread out that I was doing good just to keep up with the boys and keep them from trying to swim in the lake.
We had a fun morning playing and hiking and returned home exhausted. I was inspired to think more about taking the boys out to the parks in our area this fall.

1000 Gifts (28)

- the fun of soccer
- the new friends we are making, parents of other players

- the boys watching the puppets from a puppet show that Aaron used to do as ministry when he was in middle and high school, a full circle moment

- Lilly's 1st birthday!
- holding baby Adeline, so tiny and new
- a new van!
- the realization that as much as I like the van it is simply a possession and means nothing in the eternal scope of things
- Jeremiah's tenderness toward Lilly
- Jeremiah reading books to Elias during the congregational meeting

The hectic pace of our lives continues. Except that last week we made it a point to be home together on Thursday evening. I made a nice dinner and lit the candles and we finished the evening with a few games of "Chutes & Ladders." That was a blessing.

I try to be a joy finder and count my gifts in a personal journal (#630). I chose to share some here.

Friday Night Thoughts

It's 11 o'clock on a Friday night and I am reveling in a rare treat of a whole evening of quiet. Aaron is off on a guy's night out so once the boys were in bed I was able to kick back on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and watch whatever I wanted on Netflix.

Of course, evenings of quiet also by nature seem to bring with them time for reflection.

We had a few difficult days this past week. Consistent discipline is so hard! I have been re-reading and excellent book called Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids. This is hands down one of the best parenting books that I have read. I am formulating a whole post on this. But, the main thing that was helpful for me was establishing a consistent discipline routine. In the past 2 weeks I have started (trying) to handle every discipline situation with the exact same 4 steps. The first week was awesome! The boys were really responding and I was able to keep my cool.

Then this week all hell seemed to break loose! I think the boys are testing whether I will be calm and consistent. And I will admit that there were a few times when I totally lost my cool. Parenting is humbling!

I continue to feel the Spirit's prompting to give more. But the more prompting I feel the more more needs I see and the more overwhelmed and impotent I feel. There are needs in our church, needs in our community, needs in the world. I have been following Ann Voskamp as she is in Guatemala with Compassion International. Her posts have me in tears as she paints the pictures of hope and the gospel in the midst of poverty and seeming hopelessness. My heart wonders, "What do I do?" I have so much, what do I give?

We had a fun school day today. We were learning about Australia this week and today Jeremiah got to make a diorama of the Great Barrier Reef. He loved it! He colored and pasted and in the end presented us with a shoe box full of imaginatively colored marine life. He really enjoys it when he can do things that are interesting and creative and educational all by himself. So I spend my time going through the daily lessons that are on the computer finding the ones that I know he will enjoy. Worksheets bore him.

Nathaniel declared today, after a week of accidents, that he wanted to wear diapers again. I gave in. It's not worth a battle is it? He'll be ready for underwear when he is ready, not a minute before. He has been waiting all week for the birthday party of his friend "Libby-Kake" (Libby Kate). Everyday he has asked, "Today we go to the party?" The boys went with me to the store the other day and picked out pretty hair clips for her because they had seen her play with mine. They were so thoughtful and generous! They were so proud of their choices. Jeremiah asks me excitedly every night, "Do you think Libby Kate will like her hair clips best?!" Nathaniel insisted that we pick out "glirl" (girl) clips and not boy clips. He is funny.

Well, I should close these ramblings. It is getting late and morning always comes early in this house.

Rug

My grandparents gifted us this beautiful Turkish rug and it arrived today. It is gorgeous and fits just perfectly in our living room. But more than that, it carries with it memories. This rug has been in my grandparents house for as long as I can remember. My memories of family Christmas gatherings, the roaring fire place, watching football, boy cousin wrestling matches, family conversations, all have this rug as the back drop.
I am so honored to have this rug in our living room, now the back drop for the memories my children are making.

Whirlwind

Last week was crazy. We ended up being busy every night of the week. We ended up deciding to sell our car and purchase a van. We tried to fit in some schooling. We worked in the yard because the weather had finally cooled and our yard was a disaster. We had soccer practice and games. I did my half of the once a month cooking. Somewhere in there I realized that I really did have to make time to clean the bathrooms before small group on Sunday. Yesterday we went to Atlanta for Labor Day.
Whew! No wonder we are exhausted.
But you know what? It is good!
We are happy and healthy and busy and blessed.

The Party Animal

Saturday night was the 15th birthday party of Irlanda, a girl in our church. Her family is originally from Mexico where a girl's 15th birthday is a special event with a church service dedicating her to God and a party launching her into womanhood. It was a blast! Irlanda is a sweet, funny girl who loves to laugh and have fun. She has been helping her parents in our church nursery since Jeremiah was a baby and so our boys love her.

But Nathaniel, my goodness! He walked into the decked out party hall and was obviously immediately in his element. He wanted to dance! And dance he did. He didn't even stop to eat but spent the whole evening dancing. Then, when he saw that young men were lining up to dance with Irlanda (a fun part of the evening), he just HAD to as well. He waited patiently in line, but every time he thought is was his turn an older boy would get in front of him. So finally he just took matters into his own hands, as you can see above.

After his successful dance with Irlanda and the disco party dancing started he dragged his other "crush" Canaan onto the dance floor with him. And by dragged, I mean persistently insisted that she come and dance with him even though she had no original intention of going out on the dance floor. Then, when she surreptitiously tried to escape (since the floor was full and she thought he wouldn't notice) he ran after her and pulled her back!

The boys were up until 10pm reveling in all the fun. But Nathaniel was definitely a party animal.

Online School

(Sorry this picture is rotated wrong, I can't seem to fix it.)

We are now in week 3 of school. We still have some kinks to work out and things to adjust to but I think that we are at least getting into the habit of doing some school work every day. Last week was spent trying to get Jeremiah up to speed in some of the curriculum. I spent a lot of time on the computer going through the subjects and units and trying to assess him up to where I think is more his level. I will not lie, this was a frustrating process! Because all of the lessons are on-line I have to sit behind the computer and scroll through each individual lesson to see what it contains. But I think that Jeremiah won't get as bored if we are working on things that are new and interesting to him.

We did take yesterday off official school. We had had a busy weekend and I was tired and overwhelmed with a messy house, grocery lists to make, laundry to catch up on etc. etc. Both of the boys were tired from a number of late nights in a row. So while we did do the things we do every day (reading and writing practice) we basically just hung out and re-energized. That is a definite plus side of home schooling!

One of the parts of this k12/GCA school is the on-line classroom. This morning, Jeremiah sat at the computer, logged into a virtual classroom, and got to meet his teacher and hear the other students (from all over the north west Georgia area). These classes will be offered once a week as well as small group classrooms (children grouped by ability) once a month. Jeremiah seemed to really enjoy it, and since he is familiar with how to operate a mouse and keyboard it was fairly easy for him to pick up the operations of the on-line classroom. These classes are not required, but I think it is helpful for Jeremiah to have a teacher other than me that he can interact with. Plus, he likes anything that he can do on the computer.

Potty Training: Season 2

While Jeremiah hits new milestones like starting school and playing soccer again, Nathaniel is not to be left out. In the middle of our new routine last week he decided it was time to be done with the diapers and put on "big boy" underwear. Keep in mind that he has wanted to do this a few times before, but only because he thought the underwear was cool. He had no real intention of using the potty and so after one afternoon of the novelty he would give up and ask for diapers again.
So last week when he started asking for underwear again I figured I would clean up a few messes, do an extra load of laundry, and have him back in diapers within a day. Nope. One day of puddles on the floor and then something clicked. He's been basically dry ever since last Friday (even in church on Sunday)! Yesterday morning something else clicked and he was able to make it to the potty for poo-poo! We did a big dance and he got an extra gummy bear (I am not above bribery when it comes to potty training, makes it go faster for us) and we were all so excited for him!
I know that there will still be accidents in the future. But we are so proud of our little monkey for achieving this milestone!

Soccer: Season 2

Jeremiah wanted to play soccer again this year. He really wanted to. Which was kind of a surprise to us because he never asks to play or practice soccer at home. But we signed him up, paid our $35.00 (which I think is a smoking good deal since he gets a uniform that he gets to keep, which actually may be his favorite part of soccer, but I digress), went to the Thursday night "try-outs", and then awaited his team assignment.
He ended up on the blue team. There is one other kid from his team last year but otherwise it is a different team and a different coach. So also a different set of parents for Aaron and I to get to know. Last night was their first practice. It was hot. And Jeremiah was a bit of a loner, preferring to kick the ball around by himself while all the other kids ran around chasing each other. All the other kids are in school and some already know each other. But once the coach took charge and got the kids practicing "drills" Jeremiah got right in there with the other kids.
So we are looking forward to another fun season.
I love the joyful look on Jeremiah's face as he chases the ball!

1000 Gifts (27)

The gifts came last week in the midst of the routine messy-ness of living. They came in the moments that I almost missed as I tried to check off to-do lists, clean house, and get things done. They came as I stilled my soul and quieted my heart. And Sunday morning the gift of God's presence was poured out in corporate worship.

"Our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other.
Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God!"
--
"Renuevame, Senor Jesus Ya no quiero ser igual.
Renuevame, Senor Jesus Pon en mi to corazon.
Porque todo lo que hay, dentro de mi
Necisita ser cambiado Senor.
Por que todo lo que hay, dentro de mi corazon
Necesita mas de Ti."
--
Let no one caught in sin remain, inside the lie of inward shame
But fix our eyes upon the cross, and run to Him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us.

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave.
Christ is risen from the dead, we are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave.

Beneath the weight of all our sin, You bowed to none but heaven's will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown, No burden great could hold you down.
In strength you reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

O death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night!

O death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light.
Our God is not dead, He's alive! He's alive!
-by Matt Maher

Armor

There were moments last week that were not pretty. As we all adjusted to our change in schedules and responsibilities there were moments of impatience and unkindness. Thursday seemed to be the day we all hit a brick wall. Jeremiah was disrespectful and disobedient in ways that I thought I wouldn't have to deal with until the teenage years. Nathaniel pitched his first ever full out, scream until you almost vomit, pound your feet in the floor, rage for a full 20 minutes, fit. And I completely lost it. Ugly words came roaring out and my discipline was harsh and angry.

By nap time I felt completely defeated. I lay on my bed sobbing.

I just didn't get it. I had been able to wake early every morning to pray and read my Bible before the boys woke. I felt like I had more energy and patience and joy than I had had in a long while. So what was going on?

Then the thought floated through my mind, "Maybe Satan doesn't like the changes that are happening here. Maybe his arrows have started to fly because He could feel the difference that came in my heart from starting my day focused on Christ." I wanted to dismiss the thought because it seemed too "spiritual." It seemed too threatening, or crazy even. But the thought would not go away.

I pulled out my Bible and decided that since I was thinking about spiritual warfare I would read the passage about the armor of God in Ephesians 6. Here are some phrases that jumped out at me
Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. v10
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. v12
Stand firm. v13
Then the list of what to put on:
truth, righteousness, readiness given by the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, the Word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit

Once I wrote those things down I realized what a powerful list that was. I realized that I have been given powerful tools to fight this battle that does rage in our house. I don't pretend to understand all the implications of this, or how to actually go about putting on these things every day. But I am learning how to trust that a verse like this does make a difference in my daily life.

On Thursday afternoon, on my knees and with many tears, I fought a battle against the feelings of inadequacy, defeat, jealousy and despair. I chose to focus on truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation, and the Word of God. And even though the afternoon was still challenging the mood was palpably different.

On Friday morning I just didn't think I had the strength to make it through another day. Even before the boys woke I could feel that my patience was thin and my mind was full of defeated thoughts. I read through Ephesians 6 again trying to believe again that the armor was real and my day could be impacted in a very real way by God and His Word.

At breakfast God gave me a gift. Jeremiah read our Psalm and his voice rang clear as he read,

On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. Psalm 138:3

That verse contained all the truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, and salvation that I needed and I felt joy and strength flood my soul and body. What an amazing God I serve!

1st week of school

We made it to Friday! Our first official week of home school is complete and we are all still alive to talk about it. Ha ha.
Because I had no idea what to expect I purposely cleared our schedule of any daily outings so that we could get into the routine of doing school every morning. Honestly, staying home was the hardest part of the week. We are used to having friends over to play, heading out for impromptu lunches at Chick-fil-a after grocery shopping and things like that. But, it was necessary for us to take this week to establish the routine.
Here are my initial impressions after a week of using the K12 curriculum here at home through the Georgia Cyber Academy.

- So far Jeremiah is proving to be light years ahead of the Kindergarten curriculum. We purposely took it slow the first week in order to adjust to how it all works, but next week we will probably work on assessing him out of the subjects that he is ahead on so that we can get to content that is more interesting and challenging to him.

- I am not sure that I am going to like all of the lesson preparation and much of the lesson execution being on-line. I find having to be tethered to the computer slows us down and is not convenient for us. Our computer (which is a desk top) is not in the school room. So we spent a lot of time moving back and forth between the office and the school room. I think that I would enjoy lesson planning and preparation more if I had a book in front of me that I could work from.

- I do like that all the attendance is on-line as well as an outline of a general daily/weekly plan. That part makes the administration part of schooling very easy for me.

- This week we did a few hours of school in the morning right after breakfast. This works well and I found that some days we flew through the lessons so we will still have time to add our morning visiting and outings back into our schedule. Although, I will have to be wise about not over scheduling us.

- This is a lot of work! I probably spent about 2 hours a day outside of our regular school time preparing for the next days lessons. (Another reason I don't like everything being on the computer, I would rather be comfortable on my couch in the evenings as I prepare rather than stuck in the office away from Aaron.) I expect this will taper off as I get used to the curriculum and how it is set up.

- This is a lot of fun! It really is lots of fun to learn alongside Jeremiah. He is excited about being in school, having his own desk, reading new books, and getting to do fun activities.

1000 Gifts (26) Birthday Edition

- 3 years with our little monkey

- generosity, a full house, and sharing new toys

- uncles

- anticipation, excitement

- cake

- cousin who makes you laugh when you are crying

- squirt guns
- laughter
- big kids playing with little kids
- so much love!

Join Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience to see what the Gratitude Community is all about. I number my gifts in my personal journal (597) and choose to share some here.